Hello Again
by DJ-Kyoto
Summary: Agnes Blackwood is thrilled to have been employed by Albus Dumbledore at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The subject she'll be teaching is Magical Theory-her favorite when she was a student. Severus Snape knows Agnes, and Agnes knows Severus. Agnes Blackwood has secrets... Will Severus Snape be the one to bring them to light?
1. Hogwarts

The night sky flashed as lightning struck the nearby tree. Rain poured over the land as if threatening to drown the vegetation below. The tree's limb fell to the saturated ground. Thunder growled from within its dark, cloud infested contours.

There was a swoosh of movement as a human figure appeared from seemingly thin air. They straightened the collar of their cloak, despite the drenching rain. The mystery person looked up to the angry sky. They inhaled the damp musk the downpour had created before turning away from the newly severed tree.

The figure picked a direction to take. That direction happened to be up a steep hill. It was as though this person had been to this very place before.

The figure hiked their way up until they finally had reached the summit. They placed both hands on their hips as they looked out to admire an ancient, towering stone castle below.


	2. Miss Agnes Blackwood

_**Just so you know, I do not own Severus Snape nor any other of the Harry Potter characters, concepts, or ... well anything besides the idea of this story and the original character. So, disclaimer: J. K. Rowlings owns Harry Potter; not I.**_

The armored suits stood at attention on either side of the Headmaster's office door. If they had eyes, they would have been staring down the witch before them. The knights had their weapons at ready. The witch hadn't given them any reason to attack her... _yet_.

The doors opened of their own accord and gave way to a magnificently spacious office. A elder man in long, silk blue robes sat behind the enormous desk. He also wore a peculiar little hat, along with glasses in the shape of crescent moons. The man bared a tentative smile. "Miss Agnes Blackwood, I presume?"

Agnes walked into the room, almost tripping over a rug. She tried to ignore the armored suits' figurative glare. Agnes bowed before her elder. "This is she, sir."

"Please, please; call me Albus." Albus dismissed her formalities with the wave of his hand. "Now, please, have a seat."

Agnes wordlessly obeyed. Her eyes wandered and roamed through the room from nervousness. She was brought back to reality from the shifting of robes. Albus placed his elbows upon the top of the desk, resting his chin atop of his hands.

"Let us skip the pleasantries, if you will, and get down to the business of the matter."

Agnes nodded. A new fierce determination apparent in her eyes.

Albus pulled some papers out of his desk. He flipped through the pages as he spoke.

"You, Agnes Blackwood, are here in the Headmaster's office at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for an interview pertaining to the Magical Theory professor's position. Is this information correct?"

Agnes nodded. "Yes sir, that would be correct." The nervousness in her voice was gone.

"Getting to the point, would you be so kind as to demonstrate your knowledge?" Albus dropped the paper on the desk before him as he gave Agnes his complete attention.

"Right..." Agnes sighed. "I expected that a demonstration would be in order. All the same, I was having trouble thinking of the words. I suppose I shall... as the kids are saying these days, 'wing it.'"

Agnes stood up and made her way behind her chair. She paced as she spoke.

"As is the nature to Magical Theory, as is the vitality of understanding magic itself. Knowing and understanding Magical Theory allows one to cast more advanced spells, and allows the casting of these spells to become easier. Without a true understanding of magic, one's skill of practing and performing magic is limited, if not beyond one's reach."

Albus again rested his head upon hands to show Agnes his piqued interest.

" _Skill_ , as it were, is the term used to refer to one's Magical Ability. It is said one's Ability can be separated to two components: active and passive.

" _Active_ Magical Ability pertains to the incantation, the wand movement, and ultimately the caster's mental performance at the time of casting. In example, happy memories for the success of the Patronus; in contrast, one's sadistic pleasure for completion of Cruciatus (or Crucio).

" The _passive_ component of skill resolves in the definition of one's strength. As to why this class is so important: one passive component being the knowledge of Magical Theory. This could pertain to Magical Theory as a whole, or the Theory underlying a specific spell."

Agnes stopped in her pacing and turned to face Albus. A cheeky smirk had planted itself upon her lips. She made her way back to standing directly behind her chair. Her arm outstretched to place her hand on the chair as it supported her weight.

"Headmaster Dumbledore, I must refuse to go further. If I were to continue, this would be more than a demonstration and evolve into a full lecture."

Albus Dumbledore smiled, a twinkle in his eye. He neatly arranged the papers he had been skimming before, again, setting them down. He removed his spectacles before speaking.

"That was far beyond the expectations of a demonstration, Miss Blackwood. Your passion for Magical Theory is obvious and admirable. If you would please return to your seat." Dumbledore gestured to the chair.

Again, Agnes obeyed. Her body filled with pride. However, her breath caught. In Albus's eyes, she knew she had seen something just now. She knew she had messed up. She had looked him directly in the eyes. She had directly looked at him when she had finished her brief summary. She mentally cursed herself for it.

Albus' face grew serious. A frown descended his features. "Why, Miss Blackwood? What has inspired you to come to Hogwarts seeking employment?"

Agnes sighed and averted her attention to the corner of the desk. "I want to get away from that life... it was... one I was forced upon against my will. The rest I suspect that you already know."

Dumbledore's grave nod spoke wonders. Yet somehow, it gave Agnes hope.

"Of course, you understand the consequences regarding in the occurrence of..."

He didn't have to finish his sentence. Agnes had expected as such. She suspected he'd be able to see right through her. She was dealing with a _legilimens_ , after all. Agnes sighed, "Yes... I do. And I'm willing to face the consequences in the instance that such happens."

Albus flashed a tight, apologetic smile. He discarded the paperwork somewhere into his desk. "Very well. You are hired Miss Blackwood. You are expected to arrive a week before term starts to settle in. Congratulations, and welcome to Hogwarts."


	3. Flick my Bic

Hogwarts bustled with activity as the house elves busied themselves with cleaning the whole castle. Agnes weaved through the masses as she made her way to the dungeons. Her luggage followed suit due to the casted Locomotor charm.

Agnes had requested that her chambers be within the dungeons. She missed their dank musk, and the isolation they enabled. Her eyes watered from the nostalgia. The dungeons were the main centerpiece she reflected on from her own time at Hogwarts.

Finally reaching the location, thanks to directions from both Headmaster Dumbledore and Mr. Filtch, Agnes stopped. She knew the password Dumbledore had provided her. The problem was coming up with one of your own. Agnes came up with one after a long contemplation. She changed the password as soon as she opened the passage with the existing one. Satisfied, Agnes made her way through the secret passage way and to the door of her new chambers.

With the flick of her wand, Agnes flung her luggage into the room. A wordless swish had the contents packing themselves.

Agnes observed the articles of clothing that were going by at the speed of a conveyer belt. She decided on wearing what she already had on and saving her good robes for the start of term.

Agnes kicked off her heeled boots and flopped onto the bed. She continued watching as her books were assorting themselves along the bookcases. A good sized cauldron lazily made it's way to the counter of the kitchenette area. Feeling she was deserving of a little relaxing, Agnes cradled her arms behind her head and allowed her back to decompress.

Agnes pointed in the direction of one of her bags. On command, a packet of spaghetti bought at a Muggle store floated to the kitchen and waited for a pot to fill itself with water. Using her pinky of the same hand she made a come-hither motion. A small, black cardboard box came to her along with a black Bic lighter. An ashtray was soon to follow. It scurried through the air as if not wanting to defy its 'master.'

Agnes took out a Muggle made cigarette and put it to her mouth. She muttered, "Flick my Bic," in a sort of taunting amusement as she lit the end.

She was halfway through the cigarette when there was a light knock on the door. Agnes made sure that her luggage had stopped packing itself before saying, "Enter."

Professor Minerva McGonagall and Professor Flitwick entered.

Agnes flicked the ashes off of the cherry before regarding their presence.

"Ah, professors! To what do I owe to this visit?"

Professor McGonagall waved the smoke away from her face. She glared at the remaining wafts in annoyance. "We came, Professor Flitwick and I, to welcome you, Professor Blackwood, to our prestigious school. We wish you good luck in your teachings and-"

"Hope that the Slytherins don't give you too much trouble." Flitwick added. He smiled as though to hold back a laugh.

McGonagall shot a disapproving glare his way. "How could you speak that way? Though they have their... _moments_ , they are still students at this school!"

Agnes acted as though she hadn't heard Flitwick's statement. She wanted to remind him that he was in the dungeons. And the dungeons were the approximate location of the Slytherin Common Room; but she said nothing.

Flitwick sheepishly smiled, "I was trying to add some humor to the situation."

"You are the only one laughing, Felius."

Agnes returned the apologetic smile McGonagall had sent her way. She was sure that McGonagall remembered her from when she was a young Slytherin at Hogwarts, herself.

"Either way," McGonagall sighed, her Scottish accent thick. "We, or at least I," she glared once again at Flitwick. "Wish you good luck for this term. We hope that you will enjoy the atmosphere of Hogwarts' teaching career."

"Thank you, McGonagall." Agnes bowed her head. McGonagall did the same before exiting Agnes' chambers - pulling Professor Flitwick along.

As her door closed, Agnes smiled and shook her head. Even though Minerva was the Head of Gryffindor House, she still had respect for the woman.

Agnes reclined back as she was before the visitation. She lit another Muggle made cigarette and looked up to the ceiling. She thought of the lesson plans she would make and wondered what life as a professor would hold.

 _ **Severus will be in the next chapter, so no worries.**_

 _ **If any of you are wondering, the story is in third person perspective because it is easier to express the thoughts of all the characters. And it gives the impression that you're watching the characters as though they're in a movie.**_


	4. We Meet Again

**Woohoo! My boss let me off three hours early. So I used that extra time to write this. I hope that this chapter makes up for the previous, seemingly rushed chapters.**

It was finally the first day of the term. Technically, it wasn't the first day, but it was the day the students arrived. There were only a few more first years to be sorted before the Welcoming Feast began.

First years were not a concern for Agnes. Magical Theory was for third years and up. All the same, Agnes clapped along with the Slytherins when a new House member was sorted in. She ignored the looks from McGonagall to her left. She knew she was being prejudice, but oh well. Minerva had no room to glare; when there was a Gryffindor gained, Agnes had caught her smiling with pride on several occasions. _Hypocrite_ , Agnes smiled as she thought to herself.

When the last sorted student was seated, Dumbledore stood at the podium. The Golden Owl's wings mimicked the sound of two swords sliding against one another as it spread its feathers. The Great Hall hushed into an anxious silence. Dumbledore paused, ensuring he had everyone's undivided attention. Agnes couldn't help but periodically glance to the empty seat to her right in curiosity.

"Welcome, to you first years, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Welcome back to the rest of you." Dumbledore paused and smiled out to the student body.

"It is always a great pleasure to look out to all of you students. You all have your own ambitions and dreams. The caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind you to please be respectful and not to be dallying about. So, I asked you all to please be respectful. I would also like each and every one of you to join me in welcoming our newest staff member, Professor Agnes Blackwood."

Agnes looked out to all of the Hogwarts students. All of their eyes were on her. She nervously smiled to the crowd. McGonagall nudged Agnes in her side. Dumbledore was gesturing for her to stand. Agnes obliged with hesitance. "Professor Blackwood will be filling in the position of teaching Magical Theory. Please greet her warmly."

Agnes shyly waved as the students clapped out of courtesy. Dumbledore raised his palm. When the clapping slowed, Agnes retook her seat. She was relieved to be out of the spotlight.

"To put a close on things, I'd like to wish you all a very productive and successful year. Let the feast commence." With the wave of his hand, vast amounts of food appeared on all four House's tables. Agnes couldn't help but smile when she heard the gasps of the first years. She remembered having the same reaction her own first year at Hogwarts.

Agnes began to fill her own plate with the delicious food. She couldn't remember the last good meal she'd had. Through the chattering of the many students, Agnes almost didn't hear the door of the staffs' entrance open.

"Ah, Severus," Dumbledore said between bites of his own food. "So nice of you to join us."

"My apologies Head-" Severus froze in his speech. Agnes looked up from her plate and stiffened just as much as Severus. They both locked eyes in a tension filled silence. "... master." Their eyes remained in their gaze as the Headmaster spoke.

"Won't you enjoy the festivities, Severus? The house elves have really outdone themselves this year with the roast pheasant."

Severus broke away from the staring contest to find an available seat. Unfortunately, that was by Agnes' side. With a scowl of obvious displeasure, Severus took his apparent new seat. He didn't even reach for any of the food before them.

"You have some nerve... here... of all places," Severus whispered with malice into Agnes' ear. "Why don't you crawl back into your hole where despicable snakes belong?"

Agnes sighed and shook her head before answering. "And you, Severus? You have room to speak with such disdain? Aren't we alike, here?" Severus internally flinched, but not enough for anyone to notice. "You are just as much a Slytherin as I, darling."

"Don't... call me that," Severus growled.

Agnes merely shrugged. "As you wish. Won't you eat, Snape? You don't want the house elves' work and efforts to go to waste."

Snape growled, but began to pick and choose what he wanted. _Picky, isn't he?_ Agnes mentally laughed. As if sensing being made a mockery, Snape grumbled under his breath, "Don't think this discussion is over..."

Agnes rolled her eyes, but returned to eating her food. It was not long after that dessert was served, and Dumbledore was sending the students to their House Common Rooms.

Red-orange flecks were smashed. Grey-white wafts of smoke crawled from the smoldering cherry under the cigarette butt. Agnes sighed and set the ashtray aside on the bedside table. She couldn't sleep. Her reunion with Severus Snape replayed within her thoughts; along with several other memories. Knowing her attempt of forgetting and running away would only prove futile, Agnes opted for a walk. Maybe the damp dungeons would calm her like those many years ago.

Agnes grabbed a cloak and made sure she had her wand in her inner pocket. She embraced the burning chill of the dungeons' air into her lungs. Oh how she'd missed their smell. It comforted her.

On she walked. Agnes eventually had made her way out of the dungeons. She had to admit that it did feel strange to walk Hogwarts' halls after curfew with the security that there weren't any teachers that would punish her. Hell, she was a teacher! That was strange in itself. Considering...

Agnes immediately pushed those thoughts away. That was the purpose of this moonlit walk. _Maybe I should go see Albus?_ Agnes asked herself. _He did say to speak to him if I ever felt... burdened. I doubt he'd be awake, however now's a good a time as any. There will be lessons starting tomorrow..._

With those thoughts in mind, Agnes headed to the Headmaster's office in hopes that he would be awake. It was challenging remembering the way to the statue guarding the Headmaster's office in the dark, but she managed in the end. As Agnes was about to whisper the password, she heard a pair of footsteps in the other corridor. One set was rhythmic and slow. The other was quick, as though they were pulsing with determination. Then they both just... stopped.

"Headmaster, I advise you to see reason!"

"As you have previously said, Severus."

"Then Headmaster, you _must_ understand that that... woman... cannot be trusted. She's-"

"Enough, Severus. Miss Blackwood came to me asking for employment. Simultaneously, though subconscious, asking for protection. I will not deny her that security. I am well aware of her past... accommodations; however, she has confessed and wishes a chance. I understand your concerns, Severus, and I shall keep them in mind. Though, I would have thought you would have been the one to understand Miss Blackwood's situation."

"Headmaster, I know her kind! I can assure you Miss Blackwood is no doubt, to the core-"

Agnes couldn't hear any more. She turned to walk to the other end of the hall. It was the long way back, but Agnes didn't mind. It gave her more time to herself. Thanks to Severus-fucking-Snape, it was all coming back once again. The screaming and the pleading. The memory of the tears that had stained her cheeks. Seeing them all, one by one, become overwhelmed in convulsions.

All of which she will permanently blame herself for.


	5. Quit your Struggling

The Great Hall was nearly cleared out. The majority of Hogwarts' students having left to prepare themselves for their first classes of the day. It had been a week since the new school year had started. Within that week, Agnes thankfully hadn't seen neither hide nor hair of Professor Severus Snape. Well, she'd seen him, but only during meals in the Great Hall.

Agnes made her way to her office to look over her lesson plans for the day. The first couple hours of the day was her free period. Before the start of term, Agnes had specifically asked Dumbledore for such accommodations - she was _not_ a morning person.

Agnes winced as she stepped into her overly bright classroom. The classroom was on the third floor of the castle. The sun's rays were easily able to penetrate through the windows into the room. It was times like these that Agnes remembered fondly why she had led a nocturnal lifestyle at one point. No matter; it was a night in which it was her turn for the hall patrolling. She would have all night to enjoy the darkness.

Pulling out a small stack of parchment, Agnes began reading the curriculum she had written earlier the week before. It was strange being a teacher - and at Hogwarts, no less. Though strange indeed, Agnes believed she could easily get used to it.

Agnes didn't realize she had dozed off until she was awoken from the sound of light chatter. She was thankful that she was in her office and not the classroom. She skimmed the lecture assigned for that day before going to greet the masses.

Overall, Agnes enjoyed teaching Magical Theory. It was her favorite subject as a student. Along with teaching, what Agnes thoroughly enjoyed was discipline. No, she wasn't quick to deduct points from houses, but, rather, enjoyed startling students who daydreamed or dozed off. She was quirky like that.

Now that it was time for the lesson to begin, Agnes waltzed to the front of the classroom. She smiled as the room immediately silenced.

"Good day to all of you - Ravenclaw and Slytherin sixth years."

The classroom door slammed with a wave of her hand

"Last week we all learned the basic overview of what Magical Theory is. This week, we will go over Magical Theory and how it relates to spells and magic in general."

Agnes paused to allow the students to ready their parchment and quills.

"As I have said on numerous occasions last week: knowing and understanding Magical Theory allows you to cast more advanced spells, as well as making casting easier. _Since you all should already know this_ , **don't** write that down. "This week, we will be learning about the Nature of Magic.; this being a basic introduction to the complexity that is Magical Theory."

Another pause - for any of those who titled their notes. With a flick of Professor Blackwood's wand, a stick of white chalk hovered at ready to write down highlights of the lecture.

"Magic, on an elementary level, is generally predictable; a spell cast in the same exact way will behave exactly the same way every time. You wave you want, and - Rictusempra!" Professor Blackwood pointed her want to a small, unsuspecting Ravenclaw boy. The poor lad began to wiggle and writhe; simultaneously holding back fits of laughter.

"You see, class," Blackwood continued, momentarily abandoning the student to the tickling spell. "The predictability of magic suggests that if an incantation done with a specific wand movement is performed the exact same way every single time... Rictusempra, rictusempra; rictusempra!" Her wand pointed to students at random. The victims bursted with uncontrollable laughter. Blackwood yelled over the hackling, "The result will be the same; always. Finite Incantatem."

The laughter stopped. Slowly, the classroom returned to order as the students calmed and straightened themselves.

"Hopefully that example will prove to be correct to you all." Professor Blackwood smiled as all of the students nodded in silence.

"Though we find this information to be correct, magic has a rather nasty habit of contradicting itself. Magic is predictable as it is also unpredictable. I'm sure there have been times where all of you had accidentally cast a spell of some sort before your attendance at Hogwarts?"

The students nodded.

Again, the professor smiled. "Magic at its most unpredictable."

As if on a cue, it was time for the students to be on their way to their next class. "We shall cover more on the Nature of Magic tomorrow. Don't any of you _**dare** _ to be late!"

The hovering stick of chalk began to make a square around the words it had not long written. Above, it wrote "Sixth Years." Moving to the right, outside of the box, Agnes read "Third Years." Skimming through her papers, she saw the third years were still on the overview of Magical Theory (their overview was much more detailed). Agnes tried to suppress a groan as she remembered this hour was paired with Gryffindor and Slytherin. _How stereotypical_.

The halls were their usual after-classes-everyone's-at-the-Great-Hall-quiet. It was nice, really. Instead of being at the Great Hall like everyone else, Agnes had opted to going over her lesson plans with more depth. Unfortunately, the highest year she was teaching were sixth years this term. Oh well; maybe seventh years will come around next term.

Agnes shook her head to the plan layout before her. The sixth years had only began to scratch the surface of the Nature of Magic. Not to mention that the overview week showed that they needed a more in-depth refresher course on "How Magical Theory correlates with Wizardry and Witchcraft." It'll be a month and a half, at least, before she could even _consider_ them moving on to the Nature of Spells. Oh well. She had all school year.

Aside from an occasional fist fight threat - always between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin - the day was rather uneventful. Such a pity, really. Agnes remembered all of the mischievous events she had somehow always found herself in. She smiled at the memories. Never mind that now; Agnes had dark, empty corridors to patrol.

It must have been easily two in the morning. Agnes had even busied herself by patrolling the astronomy tower. All of Hogwarts' students were being good little boys and girls. _The ones who are lucky enough to not get caught, anyway_. Having found no naughty students, Agnes opted for moving her patrol to somewhere she would certainly enjoy - the dungeons. The dungeons' damp, musk smell could always be reliable in welcoming Professor Agnes Blackwood in a friendly embrace. Every turn of every corridor had Agnes' thoughts drifting down memory lane.

She remembered when, like her parents had said, the Hogwarts Attendance Invitation Owl flew into her window. She remembered going to platform 9 and 3/4 and riding the Hogwarts Express for the first time. She remembered when, like her parents had said, she was judged by her blood purity. She remembered when, like her parents had said, she was sorted into Slytherin. She remembered when, like her parents had said, she was looked down upon by the color of her Hogwarts robes. She remembered when, just like her parents, she...

Pain! Pain? Well, yes, she remembered pain, but it wasn't in her back like it is now. The pain was joined with the sensations of cold and wet. An arm pressed against her throat in a threatening manner. _You're being pinned against the wall, dumbass!_

Sure enough, she was. Agnes struggled against her captor as a trembling-ly smooth baritone froze her movements. "Quit your struggling and tell me anything I ask."

It was no other than Potions Master Professor Severus Snape.

"I never thought you to be so trusting, Severus! One would have suspected veritaserum would be your preferred method of interrogation."

Snape's eyes narrowed at Agnes' taunting. "I don't stoop to the low levels ones like you are accustomed to."

"Could've fooled anyon-"

"Silence!" Snape's arm pressed further into Agnes' throat. She choked in response to her gag reflex.

"Why are you here? What business do you have at Hogwarts?"

"I have my reso-" Again, Snape jostled her about, demanding silence.

"Answer me!"

"My reasons are strictly between me and the Headmaster."

Snape countered matter of factly, "You mean the **Dark Lord**."

Silence. Complete and uttermost silence.

Agnes stood shell shocked. Her mouth a gape, despite she being a lady and a man before her. "You have mistaken me for someone else. And just who the bloody hell do you think you are? Making such accusations! Ha, how rude! I command you to let go of me at once!"

"I believe," Snape again tightened his grip. "That you and I both know my assumptions to be correct... _Blackwo-_ "

"Flipendo."

Snape's eyes widened as he was pushed backward against the opposite wall. He was caught off guard; for once. Agnes rubbed her collarbone as she stepped toward the Potions Master; a smile painted upon her face. Severus Snape lay bewildered and surprised in the dungeons' floor. With the tip of her black, heeled boot, Agnes pinned Snape to the floor. He hissed when the barb-like three inch heel stabbed his upper chest. Agnes slowly applied more and more pressure; slightly rotating and twisting her ankle as she did so.

" **Quit your struggling** and get back to your own affairs, _Professor!_ "

Snape did nothing but glare at the woman before him. A woman who could have once been compared to Bellatrix LeStrange. A woman who could be considered dangerous. That woman was a teacher at Hogwarts.


	6. No Apologies Needed

It was finally Friday evening. The Friday after that early (very early) Tuesday morning Snape had cornered her into the dungeon wall. That Tuesday morning he had accused her of preposterous absurdities! Polite and pleasant Severus Snape was not. In light of everything, Agnes was content in busying herself with grading papers and homework assignments - mainly homework assignments. The sudden clearing of one's throat echoed through the room. Startled, Agnes cursed as red quill ink painted a jagged line across a poor fourth year's work. Agnes shook her head with a sigh before greeting whoever had dared to bother her.

Agnes was quite surprised to see Dumbledore. Well, she was, but she wasn't. Agnes set aside the papers in fear any others' would be damaged.

"My apologies for startling you, Agnes; it's quite alright if I call you Agnes, isn't it?"

"Yes sir, it is quite alright." Agnes replied. She glanced at the student's ruined paper that she had place on the upper right-hand corner of her desk.

"Right. I have come to ask you how you are adjusting to Hogwarts."

"Quite well, actually. I get along with many of the other professors surprisingly enough."

"And Severus?"

Agnes froze. When a decent amount of time had passed, she sighed. "Need I say anything...?"

Dumbledore let out a whispery laugh that could have passed for a sigh. "I suppose I knew the answer to that question before I even asked."

"Then why ask, Headmaster?" Agnes' eyes remained transfixed on the fourth year's ruined paper. Her expression remained emotionless.

Dumbledore shrugged, "Formalities, I supposed."

Agnes mindlessly shuffled through the answer key she had made during the week before term. She had nothing to say, and the awkward silence only worsened the situation. Seeing that Agnes wasn't willing, Dumbledore opted to be the one to break the silence. "Earlier this week... I would like to apologize on Severus' behalf."

"No need, Headmaster. The man has no intentions in doing so himself, so you shouldn't bother with performing his pleasantries for him." Agnes never looked up from the parchment before her. She refused to make the same mistake that she had during her employment interview.

A slight smile graced Dumbledore's lips. "Then allow me instead to apologize for that dreadful discussion that you were unfortunate enough to overhear."

Agnes looked up with extreme caution. Of course he knew. The man _was_ a legilimens, after all. The mere fact that the old man was blunt enough to tell her he knew was what shocked her. _Shit_! She had looked him in the eye again.

The smile that had faded returned to Dumbledore's face. "I prefer to alert a person when the occasion arises that I see something one would probably like me not knowing."

Agnes sighed, "No need, Headmaster. It was the mere boldness of the admittance that caught me off guard."

"As I suggest, I value honesty."

Agnes returned her attention to the momentarily forgotten grading key. All of the answers she knew by heart. She had merely written them down in the case of late night grading sessions. A cold hand startled her. The memory of an even colder hand from and earlier time plagued her mind's eye. She remembered, in vivid detail, the eyes that that hand belonged to - eyes that held no pity nor mercy. They only contained sadism. Agnes gasped as twinkling blue drastically contrasted the apathetic darker's hue. The hand in the present comfortingly patter her own.

"I... did not intend for that to happen..." For the first time that Agnes had ever witnessed, Dumbledore seemed to be at a loss for words. His suggested apology was clearly evident in his features.

Agnes placed a hand over her chest in an attempt to control her irregular breathing. She had never heard of, let alone witnessed, anyone _accidentally_ using legilimency. Apparently, though, it has happened. As it were, the awkward silence from before had returned. _Lovely_.

"I am assuming that was...?"

"Yes." Dumbledore needn't finish his question. Agnes didn't give him the chance to. Yes they were the eyes of whom Dumbledore thought it was. Yes she had been petrified; in both the past and in the memory.

"I... I'm sorry," Agnes broke down. "I know you saw during my interview. I know you saw what I had done. I had to. I had to do it to my own flesh and blood, or..."

Dumbledore patter her shoulder as Agnes waited for the tears that never came. She had never once cried about what she had done. Silently, she wondered if she was as sadistic and wicked as Severus Snape was trying to make her appear to be. She thought herself so, but she also knew that her hand had been forced by the very people she had killed.

"No apologies needed, Miss Blackwood. You have suffered enough." Somehow, whether by his words, or by suspicion, Agnes had the feeling that Dumbledore knew exactly what she was going through. Did... she see a tear in his eye?

Dumbledore was abrupt to turn away. He silently made his way toward the door. Agnes tried desperately to ignore the surrounding heavy tension. "I believe, Miss Blackwood, that I should leave you to your grading. As apology to interrupting, I suspect that you'll find Mr. Godfrey's paper unblemished.

Agnes looked down immediately to find that the fourth year's paper no longer had the red quill mark. She was thankful for that. Without saying anymore, Dumbledore took his leave. Almost bumping into a student, the Headmaster gave his 'excuse me,' and apologies before continuing on to Merlin knew where. Glancing up from the papers she had gone back to grading, Agnes watched the almost trampled student hesitantly make their way to her desk.

The student was a female sixth year who had been sorted into Slytherin. Her name was June, or something. What it was exactly, Agnes had no idea. Agnes put the quill down from her left hand with care before giving the girl her complete attention.

"E-excuse me, Professor?"

Agnes said nothing. Seeing her Magical Theory Professor's unwavering gaze, the girl pressed on with the security of knowing that she wasn't being ignored. "I-I was just... I'm having trouble comprehending the lessons from this past week. I have notes, but they aren't helping. They way that you teach has me inspired to learn and understand Magical Theory, but I'm having difficulty. Do... do you think you could help me understand it a bit more?"

Agnes smiled warmly at the girl. She could tell that she was trying. "Of course... June, was it?"

"Juno, Professor."

"Juno. Not everyone has the knack for understanding Magical Theory." The girl's face visibly dropped with sadness from Agnes' words. "However, you are giving it your best effort. I will gladly help those who put forth the effort to help themselves."

The girl beamed. "Oh, thank you, Professor!"

Agnes mirrored the girl's smile. "Given the complexity of Magical Theory, what's say we commence weekly tutoring sessions on Saturday afternoons? Does that sound alright to you?"

"Yes, Professor!"

"Splendid. We begin tomorrow, then. Off to dinner you go." Agnes shooed the girl with a wave of her hand she watched in amusement as the Slytherin girl skipped out of her classroom door.

Deciding that the papers could wait 'till tomorrow evening after a muggle-novel reading session, Agnes made way to her quarters. She smiled to herself upon seeing Severus patrol the dungeon's halls and corridors.

 **Author's Note: _I greatly apologize for the delay in updating. But, that was only 7 days ago. Hopefully I will be able to update a lot faster in the upcoming future. If not, I apologize in advance. Also, a reminder that I will update this story on wattpad a lot faster than on Fanfiction. So, if you have a wattpad account, that's a plus. :p_**

 ** _~DJ-Kyoto_**


	7. Been There

Saturday. It was Saturday morning. Agnes stretched as she finally decided to quit laying about. She still had that tutoring session with Ja-Juno. First thing was first. It was time for her first muggle cigarette of the day. If she was going to go through with the arrangement, Agnes figured having some nicotine in her system wouldn't hurt.

She lit the tobacco end of the white, paper wrapped stick and sat back against the headboard. She inhaled the bitter carbon monoxide and let the stinging smoke tendrils tickle her lungs. Agnes didn't even look up when a thud vibrated her mattress. A soft, yet deep, purring confirmed her assumption. A calico with seemingly perfect markings rubbed against Agnes' hand holding the cigarette. The cat looked up at the witch by her side and meowed.

"You have no fear, do you Beatrice? Or rather, you lack common sense."

The cat tilted her head to the side and meowed as though she had understood Agnes' words. Agnes knew she understood. How, she couldn't explain- Beatrice had just always acted like she understood English.

Agnes snubbed out the cigarette in the glass ashtray. She petted the calico as if to only acknowledge her presence. Agnes glanced at the clock on the wall and immediately jumped to her feet.

She had risen on Saturday _afternoon_ , not Saturday **morning**. She was late before she had even woken up!

Without wasting anymore time, Agnes grabbed one of her many black long-sleeved cloaks and ran out the door. Beatrice looked at the door curiously as it quickly closed. Seeing that her owner was gone, the cat leaped onto the bedside table.

Since her owner had left, Beatrice decided to occupy herself by sleeping. The harsh smell of the ashtray distracted her. Cautiously, Beatrice outstretched her neck to investigate the strange smell. The door quickly opened. Beatrice jumped at the sudden noise of Agnes entering the room. The witch came over to the bedside table to retrieve the wand that lay beside the cat and left again without a backward glance.

When the door closed again, Beatrice looked in its direction. Her ears folded back in annoyance for being startled. With the threat gone, Beatrice found a comfortable position and layed herself down to sleep.

 _Finally here..._

Agnes leaned against the wall beside the threshold outside of her classroom. She supported her weight with her left hand as she regained her breath. Once recovered, Agnes straightened her robes and entered the classroom with her head held high. She hoped to pull off the appearance of grace and poise that her parents had very often drilled into her brain. Her parents...

The masquerade, thankfully, hadn't been for nothing. Though Agnes was dreadfully late by an hour and a half, the Slytherin girl had obediently waited. Her facade of elegance had intimidated the student with ease. The seemingly confident demeanor radiated from Agnes as she moved across the classroom to sit behind her desk. The student said nothing. Her eyes silently followed her teacher's movements as though she were hypnotized.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting, Jan-Juno... I keep wanting to call you Jane. What is it that you are struggling to comprehend?"

There was a pause as Juno gathered her wits about her. She shook her head to clear her thoughts before speaking. "Um... one second," Juno muttered as she shifted through the parchment of notes. She stopped once she had found the page with its title underlined. "How the Nature of Magic becomes accessible to a witch or wizard."

"Ah," Agnes nodded. "This is how we will proceed. I will repeat highlights of the previous lecture, and then break down that said highlight. Will that be alright?"

Juno nodded.

"Then let us begin. The main focus of that lecture was that wizards do not have a source of magical power that can be measured in quantity. Basically speaking, that means that magic _is **not** energy._ It appears as though you had failed to jot that down." Agnes pointed to the place of the parchment's face those words should have been. Obediently, Juno wrote the added information on the side of the parchment. She would rewrite her notes later.

Agnes continued. "Just like how magic is not energy, one's power is not fixed. When factors that influence power change, the intensity and power changes as well." She paused to let Juno catch up.

Juno's quill jiggled about with the quick movements of her scribbling. The girl read over what she had just written and furrowed her brow. "How can power change, then? If it is not fixed, how can certain factors make it change?"

"It is like with the Crucio Curse," Agnes dismissively waved her hand. Juno's eyes widened with the calm demeanor in which her teacher brought up one of the three Unforgivable Curses.

"Anyone can say the incantation, and anyone can learn and perform the wand movement. Just because they can do so, doesn't mean the cast will be successful. To complete the cast of Crucio, one must possess a sadistic, masochistic pleasure in seeing and causing people pain." Agnes paused. To Juno, it looked as though her professor was choosing her next choice of words - at first glance. On a closer inspection, Juno swore Agnes' eyes temporarily darkened. Then, as fast as it had appeared, it was gone.

"Same thing with Patra-" Agnes' voice cracked. "The Patronus Charm. To successfully cast, the caster must think of their happiest memory. The trick is doing so subconsciously."

 _If you can even have a memory happy enough to conjure a Patronus._

Now understanding, Juno wrote down the Patronus Charm example in her notes.

"Alright... to support what I've just told you, substantial changes in a person's character can result to changes in their ability to use magic. Prime example being Crucio and the Patronus Charm."

"I do ever so hate to interrupt, Professor, but may I have a word with you?"

Juno nearly jumped out of her skin. There had been sound of anyone stepping in. Agnes remained still. She was becoming used to these surprise visits.

"I'm afraid, Headmaster, that for the moment, I am otherwise occupied."

Dumbledore smiled warmly and nodded. "My apologies, Professor. I did not realize that you were with a student. When the opportunities arise, could you kindly speak with me in my office?"

"But of course," Agnes smiled out of courtesy. Dumbledore excused himself with a short bow before taking his leave. Both Agnes and Juno watched as the door creaked closed.

"Getting back on task, now; incantations and wand movements do not account for the difficulty in magic like Professor Flitwick would have you believe."

The gargoyle moved aside to allow entry. Agnes looked up to the towering steps. She had no idea what Dumbledore was going to say. Had he heard her miniature speech on the Crucio Curse to a student? Probably. But, it was strictly for educational purposes only.

Either way, the Headmaster had summoned her, and she must answer his call. That's how she had viewed people with authority wanting to "talk to her," as they say. _Let's go ahead and get this over with..._

At her approach, the doors opened to reveal the vast Headmaster's office. She had been here before, so the grandeur no longer affected her as it had before. As expected, Dumbledore was seated behind the Headmaster's desk waiting for her arrival. Agnes took her seat without being told. _Damn the formalities._

Dumbledore nodded in her direction once Agnes had seated herself. "Agnes."

Agnes returned his nod. "Albus."

The awkward, tension-filled silence from the day before had returned. Neither of them liked it. Dumbledore leaned back into his chair. "I would like to start by apologizing for yesterday. It was never my intention-"

"Don't worry yourself with it, Headmaster. We are all human; no matter the age or experience. To ease your nerves, I accept your apology."

Dumbledore relaxed, if only slightly. Agnes could still see the guilt on the man's face.

"Right. On with the other matter, then, shall we? Despite the facts that you and I both know concerning your situation, I am afraid that Severus isn't the most forgiving person."

Agnes sighed. _Severus again._

To be quite honest, Agnes had forgotten about Severus' existence. Never mind the fact that he was of the very few people who knew. If word got out, the Ministry would have her shipped off to Azkaban before you could say "Jimmy-crack-corn." Severus was definitely her biggest problem.

"Oh, him," was all that Agnes could muster as a response.

"Yes, him. I called you into my office to assure you that I had talked to Severus."

 _I'm sure **that** went real far._

"Severus has agreed to my boundaries, albeit reluctantly. I wanted to tell you to not let his words get to you. Although he agreed to secrecy, that doesn't necessarily mean that he won't try to make you break." Albus was looking at Agnes intently, now. The worry was plain as day in his sparkling blue eyes.

Agnes smirked. That stereotypical Slytherin smirk. She crossed her legs; her left shin resting atop of her right knee. "I assure you, sir, Severus couldn't break me even if he were the Dark Lord himself. Severus and I are both masters of the same game. The trick to surviving is who is the better liar. As we are both Slytherin, it would result in a stand-still."

Dumbledore regarded Agnes' words with a precautionary look in his eyes. This was a side Dumbledore had not expected- the cocky, and ever so cunning, Slytherin. "Very well, Miss Blackwood; however, if you find yourself in any unwanted situation, you know where to go."

Agnes nodded to show she understood. Taking that as her cue to leave, Agnes exited the Headmasters' chambers. She went back to her dungeons. The students would be leaving from the Great Hall soon, and Agnes _did **not**_ want to be caught up in that traffic.

She successfully made it to her chamber's corridor before a single student had left from dinner. Agnes was quite proud of herself.

Footsteps.

Quick footsteps echoed through the dungeons. Both out of habit, and radically knowing who their owner could be, Agnes ducked to the side behind the wooden threshold paneling. Correctly (unfortunately), as always, Severus Snape briskly walked by the corridor's small entrance. Agnes caught her breath in fear of being heard. She wasn't noticed. Assuming it was safe to come out of hiding, Agnes peered around the corner to the main dungeon hallway. Though completely dark, Agnes' eyes had easily adjusted.

 _Thank you, carrots._

Silently, she watched the potions master stalk down the halls. It must be his turn to patrol tonight.

Agnes hated feeling like she was his enemy. Yes, she had made her mistakes, but so had he.

She remembered catching glances of him at the Slytherins' table during meals. He had been in his fourth year while she was in her first. He had always caught her eye back then, but Agnes had no idea why. They never spoke to one another. Ever.

When he was alone, isolating himself from everyone else in the Slytherins Common Room, she had been there. When he was teased, she had been there. When he was bullied by those dastardly Marauders, she had been there. When he had (angrily so) called that uppity Evans girl a mudblood (which she had derserved), she had been there. When the Potters were murdered and Severus lay there crying, holding Lily in his arms, she had been there. She had always been there. In the shadows - never once noticed. Just as alone as Severus had felt. But he was never truly alone.

 _The hell'd he see in that damned Gryffindor, anyway?_

Agnes snatched open the door to her quarters. She frantically searched for the cigarettes.

 _She never loved you, you git._

She didn't make it. She couldn't find them quick enough.

Agnes finally, after all these years, broke down.

 _ **Well, I reached my goal to get this chapter out by today. It was a lot longer than I had expected it to be. Hopefully the next chapter will come just as fast.**_

 _ **~DJ-Kyoto**_


	8. Haunted

Three in the morning - Agnes' happy hour. Smoke polluted her quarters into a foggy haze. Beatrice had long gone retreated under Agnes' bed. She could feel the negative tension that currently plagued her master. It was best to leave her to herself.

 _Long lost words whisper slowly... to me._

Cigarette half way gone, Agnes took another drag from the stick's orange filter. The cherry blazed to life. The carbon monoxide gladly invaded the smoker's bronchial tubes. The said airways spasmed from the irritation. The tobacco's tar clunh to their walls - an inanimate parasite. The light from the subtle flame was the only source for any illumination in the room. Agnes' face remained the expressionless slate the witch had learned to master so well. Never once had it betrayed her - betrayed the turmoil that always followed her. Always.

 _Still... I can't._

With another drag from the muggle made cigarette, Agnes' body was overcome by a fit of coughing spasms. The carbon smoke tingled and, simultaneously, numbed her lung sacks. Her bronchial tubes constricted; tightening. She clutched her chest over her heart as the attack ceased.

 _Still can't find what keeps me here._

The revelations of only hours ago returned. Severus, young Severus, reading a book under one of the trees in the courtyard. He looked so peaceful, yet... troubled; tormented. Always, there was that cautious glance over his shoulder as if waiting to be ambushed.

Severus, young Severus, walking through Hogwart's halls on his way to his classes. Again, always with that cautious glance.

Severus. Always with her - _seeking_ her. With her flamboyant, more jovial, shade of hair. With her talkative attitude and always generous smile. With her talents - never mind being muggle-born. With her green eyes. Green eyes that would always outshine Agnes' chocolate; red hair that would always outshine Agnes' chestnut. Straight hair that was always tamer than kinked waves. The face that had, and still does in memory, captivated Severus like the snake (or Snape) charmer she really was. Severus was oblivious; thinking he could win her.

 _When all this time I've felt so hollow... inside._

A Gryffindor and a Slytherin. Ha! That'll be the day. One not likely.

 _Yet, I know you're still there._

He still cared for her. Still yearned for her. Still worshipped her. Still loved her.

Ha! Love. More appropriate was lust. With her fair skin, green eyes, and flaming red hair, who wouldn't? That Potter boy sure was no exception. They married... but now they were dead. Both of them were dead.

 _Haunting me..._

Severus. How he always sought after her. Agnes was always watching. She watched countless times when Lily had broken his heart.

 _Fearing you._

She had no right! She knew what she was doing. Probably telling herself she let him down easy to rid herself of guilt. All lies to boost her fragile little ego. The way Severus was put through so much pain by one woman; one witch - if she could call herself that. The numerous times Severus had ran to the darkest corners of the dungeons. He had cried believing no one would see him.

 _Loving you._

Agnes remembered the day the Dark Lord had murdered the Potters. She remembered going after Severus to try and prevent him from seeing her - Lily Evans Potter - fearing for Severus' own life.

 _Hunting you, I can smell you - alive._

She had been too late. At least, in keeping him from Lily. She watched from outside of one of the Potters' house windows. She watched Severus cradle her limp body. She watched him cry to any God to why it had to be her. She watched him cry those tears he had long shed, (almost) alone in the dungeons. All for one witch.

Agnes had clutched her heart for his pain. She could relate to his every emotion. Emotions Severus had unknowingly caused herself.

 _Your heart pounding in my head._

Avada Kadavra. The killings curse. Her parents face burned into her mind. Avada Kadavra. They themselves made her who she was. They were taken from her by the will of the Dark Lord.

 _Fearing you._

 _Loathing you._

Agnes stared at her dominant hand - her left hand; her wand holding hand. She cursed her magical ability. She was almost done with yet another muggle made cigarette. The Dark Lord's smiling face emerged from her mind's darkest contours.

 _I won't let you pull me down._

Agnes rolled her left sleeve to her elbow and stared down at her pale, alabaster skin. Slowly, as if experimenting, she brought down her right hand. The remnants of the muggle made cigarette's cherry burned into and through her skin. She held it there.

She hissed from the pain. She hissed from the pleasure. The pleasure that she herself was giving her her own punishment.

After all, she deserved this.

 _ **Another chapter into the twisted mind of Agnes Blackwood, yet she has many, many secrets. This was honestly just a filler chapter, but it is needed for later in the story; even for the nect chapter. I will be working on the next chapter immediately after posting this.**_

 _ **Most of the italics in this chapter**_ _ **are lyrics from Haunted by Evanescence. I kept hearing the song in my head play over and over while I was writing this. Just a little disclaimer for copyright purposes and whatnot.**_

 _ **~ DJ-Kyoto**_


	9. Have You Ever Been in Love?

The sound of students' chatter filled the Magical Theory classroom. It was well over time for the lecture to begin, and their professor was no where to be seen. Several rumors began to spread amongst the students pertaining to their teacher's whereabouts. The assumption of lycanthropy was the most popular.

The door, which had closed itself at the time class should have started, bursted open of its own accord. All students turned their attention to the doorway. Agnes - Professor Blackwood to the students - marched into the masses. Her robes were disheveled and her hair unbrushed. Professor Blackwood hadn't even bothered fixing up her hair in its usual bun.

Professor Blackwood glared at the students before making way to her desk. She managed to mutter, "Study period," before flopping into her seat. She laid her forehead across her hands, appearing to go to sleep.

"Excuse me, Professor… but what about the lecture?" A Ravenclaw boy dared to speak.

Agnes glared. "Pardon?"

"Our lecture for the day. We were to continue the advanced study of the Nature of Magic."

"You have your textbooks, don't you?"

"Well, yes, but as a professor at Hogwarts, it is your job to educate us," the Ravenclaw challenged. "You haven't even given us an assignment to do."

"Then do work for another class. I don't care just as long as you're quiet."

The Ravenclaw boy was silenced along with every other student in the room. Professor Blackwood had never been in such a foul mood. Eventually, the students realized that Professor Blackwood had been serious and began to study one class or another. Some saw this as an opportunity to complete homework assignments they hadn't done for other classes.

With the sounds of flipping pages of books and quills on parchment, Agnes managed to drift off to sleep. If Dumbledore found out and had a problem with her actions, he knew where to find her.

The sun was going to set any minute, now. The students would already be on their way to dinner. If they weren't, they would be soon.

Agnes' mind loved to play tricks on her. To plague her. To haunt her with her memories. To remind her of what she had done.

Agnes sat alone on the bank of the Black Lake. She had a bottle of Pink Moscato wine in her hand. Though it was a wine with a very light alcohol percentage, it was the only wine Agnes cared for. A simple spell will refill the bottle need she run out. That's all that magic was good for - refilling alcoholic beverages. Though it wasn't wise to drink as a professor at Hogwarts, it was the only way she had ever found to be able to keep her composure after a night like the one she had found before. It clouded her thoughts. Even if it was only for couple hours; it was enough for Agnes to regain her composure.

The sound of footsteps on the soft grass of Hogwart's grounds were heard before Agnes saw the steps' master. It was coming from the way of the Forbidden Forest. Agnes readied her wand. There was no telling what it could be coming out of there. It was almost nightfall, for Merlin's sake! The fact that the footsteps could be heard indicated that it was a rather large creature approaching. Had to be ready for anything, right?

The steps came closer to the edge of the forest, and closer to where Agnes sat. Agnes raised her wand. "Aye, aye, aye! Easy there! I'm come 'n peace! I'm 'armless!"

Shocked at first, Agnes did lower her wand. Upon realizing who she had almost obliterated, she rolled her head to the side in a dramatic gesture. "Merlin's beard, Hagrid! Don't go dallying about the edge of the Forbidden Forest sneaking up on people. You'll get your bloody brains blown out!"

"My 'pologies, Professor, but I swear I didn' know anyone was here."

Agnes shook her head with a smile (one that could barely pass for friendly). "Don't worry about it, Hagrid… I'm sure you'd be going off to your hut, then."

"I was. But i' seems a' though you look a bit down."

"Thank you for worrying Hagrid, but I assure you-"

"Ah-uh-uh; I won't 'ave you 'ere all on your lonesom' mopin' about aside o' the Black Lake."

Agnes shook her head without any real emotion. Hagrid stood where he was - a couple paces to her right. "You min' talkin' about it?"

Agnes paused and contemplated her words. She didn't know what she should share and what she should keep to herself. Hagrid was okay enough… But still; can't trust anyone in this world.

"Have you ever been in love, Hagrid?"

Hagrid paused. Agnes could tell that she had baffled him. Hagrid contemplated his own words. Finally, he said, "Well, no, I can't say that I 'ave."

"Ah," Agnes nodded. "I see." Agnes took another drink from the wine bottle.

"Why do ya ask?" Hagrid's curiosity had gotten the best of him.

 _Just like a cat._ Agnes smiled at her thoughts but said nothing.

More awkward silence. Agnes thought she'd be used to it by now. It was the anxiety of not knowing what the other person may or may not do that unnerved her. Agnes saw Hagrid turn as if to leave from the corner of her eye. "I'm 'ere ta listen if ya be needin' someone ta talk to."

Hagrid stood in his place for a good amount of time. Feeling as though the conversation (if you could call it that) was over, the big hairy man began to take his leave.

"I've been believing in something so distant," Agnes had another swig of wine. Hagrid stopped. He half-turned to face the witch sitting on the bank. "As if I was human."

"But cha are human, ain't cha?"

"I mean a normal human - a muggle." Another sip of wine. "I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness in me. All the promises that I had made..."

Yet again, more awkward silence. The alcohol was easing its way into Agnes' bloodstream, so the awkward feeling was gradually slipping away. Hagrid took a tentative step toward her. "Well, go on, then."

"As much as I'd like for the past not to exist, the truth of reality is that it very well still does. As much as I'd like to feel like I belong here, all I feel is this cruel wanting. I have nothing left, Hagrid."

Hagrid was directly behind Agnes, now. He was close enough that he could see the tears trying to collect in her eyes. Hagrid outstretched a comforting hand, but thought better of it. The hand came back down to Hagrid's side. He only stood where he was. To the man's surprise, Agnes leaned back until her head rested against Hagrid's shins. They both watched as the sun disappeared underneath the watery horizon. Neither of them said a word.

Hagrid had long left her to sit on the bank alone. Agnes could tell she had made him slightly uncomfortable. Somehow, Agnes had found it funny. _Is that really so wrong?_

Agnes had been alone for quite a good while. At least an hour had passed since Hagrid had left. Agnes didn't mind. She enjoyed the solitude. It comforted her - most of the time. The crickets chirped and the bull frogs, and any other amphibians, sang their nightly songs without a care in the world. As much as Agnes was enjoying her time on the bank, it was time for her to head back to the castle. She didn't know if the giant squid often ate humans, nor if it could even reach her on the bank's edge, but she wasn't going to give the creature any chance. The trek back up to the castle was a surprisingly long one. Agnes briefly wondered just how much alcohol she had consumed, but it didn't matter, for she was finally emotionally numb.

The dungeons were calling to her. The sweet, musked smell warmly welcomed her. Her brain was dancing about as she weaved through the cold corridors. She was home.

 _Where's Carolyn? I haven't seen her in such a long time. I wonder how my dear cousin is fairing._

"Oof!"

Did she run into a wall? No, of course not. It was much too soft to be a wall - much too warm. Agnes raised her eyes to try and identify the warm and squishy thing that was blocking her path. She found dark eyes looking down at her own.

"My word, Severus! When have you grown to be so old looking? You were much more appealing to the eye than you are now."

A temporary flash of anger, and then it was gone. "Out for a night stroll, are we?"

Agnes' head bobbed side to side in a playful manner as she smiled. "On the contrary! Just returning from a relaxing evening sitting on the Black Lake's edge."

"Interesting. That explains why you weren't at dinner; or at any other meals within the passing weeks."

"Oh, don't be silly Severus! I've been to meals," Agnes laughed.

"I suppose, then, that you were equipped with an invisibility cloak, is it?"

"Ha, I don't own one of those contraptions! How silly of you."

"Are... you drunk, Miss Blackwood?"

"What on Earth gives you these ridiculous assumptions, Severus?"

"Yes, of course you are," Snape took it upon himself to answer his own question. "That would explain why a student reported to the Headmaster that his teacher had been sleeping during class instead of doing her job."

"Oh really," Agnes beamed with intrigue. "Which professor was it?"

"You, you drunken imbecile!"

Agnes' body grew instantly cold. A tingling sensation erupted into various places on and in her body.

Her... _a teacher_? **_At Hogwarts_**? But she was a student. _Wasn't she?_ "What year is it...?"

"A year that a professor at twenty-seven years of age should learn to stop behaving like a child!"

Agnes' mind began to sober up. She **was** a professor _at Hogwarts_. She **was** twenty-seven years of age. And she was a - no, she wasn't; the past was behind her now. She was twenty-seven and Severus around thirty or thirty-one.

A memory of a younger Agnes flashed into view. Little Agnes stood in a dark corridor of the dungeons. Soft murmurs and sniffles of crying protruded from around a corner. Little Agnes sat down on the cold dungeon floor and weeped for the crying person.

Agnes returned to the present moment as she pushed those memories down into the hole they belonged.

"Don't do that!"

Severus' shock morphed to anger as he stepped forward. "You... I see, now. You've always been such a good little spy. No wonder you were in his favor. What gave you that right? How dare you even think-" Severus turned away. He knotted his fingers from both hands into his hair in frustration. Was Severus Snape rendered speechless?

"They always hurted you."

"And just what business is that of yours?"

" _She_ always hurted you."

Silence.

Severus fractionally tilted his chin up and to the side. He squared his jaw. "I don't know what you're talking about."

A facade. _Typical Snape._

Agnes' mind may have been sobering, but she was still quite drunk. "You're too loyal for your own good."

"You're no different you slithering swine! Have you asked yourself just where your loyalties li-"

"No, you bloody fool! To **_her_**."

Silence (again).

More silent death glares. Glares that only Severus Snape could conjure.

"You pull away to face your pain over the fear that you're afraid to let yourself find. You try to heal your broken soul. You wander aimlessly; and you'll continue to wander 'till the end of time in a futile search."

Severus remained silent. This witch really was a spy - and a bloody good one.

"Tear away from her. She's dead, Severus." Agnes took the drug out silence as her chance to leave.

The witch's words had shaken Severus to his very core. He stood planted in his spot. For once, the Potions Master was dumbfounded and speechless. She had no right!

But she had every right.

 ** _I apologize for my absence. My 16 wk old kitten suddenly became sick in the middle of writing this chapter. She's all better now there. Here's to another chapter! :)_**

 ** _~ DJ-Kyoto_**


	10. Tear Me Down

**_I would like to say thank you to all of you for the reviews and the follows! It really means a lot to me, and it inspires me to keep writing this story! :) Now, without any further ado, here is the next chapter of " Hello... Again_**."

 _Here we are!_ Agnes tried to reach up to reach the book she was after. Unfortunately, even when wearing three-inch heels, Agnes wasn't even close. In the end, she was forced to cast accio for assistance. Agnes inspected the ancient looking book. The cover read "Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration." This was just the book that Agnes was looking for. Yes, McGonagall was the the Transfiguration professor, but Transfiguration has its own theories and laws. It was a different form of magic on its own. The seventh years are supposed to cover the Magical Theory of Transfiguration; however, Agnes didn't have a seventh year class. For now, this was a personal research project. Agnes planned to take notes then follow up by visiting Professor McGonagall. Teamwork, right?

It was Agnes' free period. Though extremely tired, she wasn't going to fall asleep on her students like she had yesterday. Dumbledore hadn't spoken to her about the incident, so Agnes assumed that the Headmaster understood. After all, that old geezer seemed to know about everything that happened at Hogwarts. If Agnes didn't know any better, she would assume there were cameras. But, Agnes knew there weren't.

Agnes had an hour and a half before her first class started. She had plenty of time to begin her educational reading. Agnes checked out the book, ignoring the curious look she received from the librarian, and was on her way. _Time to go back to the ol' dungeons_.

It was a normal, quiet stroll about the dungeons. The students were all in their respective classes. More importantly, that meant Severus Snape was out of her hair - unless he also had a morning free period. As far as Agnes knew, he didn't. Rejoyce! There was no one to bother her. No students, and no Severus. This was going to be a very productive morning.

Agnes was blissfully alone. She was accompanied only by the clicking of her heeled boots on cobblestone, and the dungeon's ambience. Agnes had taken the back way through the dungeons so to not be disturbed. She had passed the entryway to the Slytherins' Common Room and kept straight. She just had a couple flights of stairs left. Up the stairs she went. The corridor up ahead was Snape's Potions class. Snape would be occupied, and Agnes would be home free.

Unfortunately, Agnes wasn't so lucky. An explosion shook the whole floor of the dungeon. The one responsible would not be having a very good day.

Agnes saw blue fumes burst into the hallway. She was a good distance away. She assumed the door had been opened from the blast. Knowing Severus' temper, though, the door would be magically closed again so any passerbies wouldn't hear him yelling.

"No, you blithering idiot! Don't add **more** to it!"

 _Hm,_ Agnes thought. _Must have been wrong_.

Another explosion. A black mass fluttered as it was thrown into the dungeon's hall. For a few moments, it remained motionless. Agnes took a tentative step forward. The black heap sprung to its feet to reveal that black mass to be Professor Severus Snape. Agnes clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle any giggles that might escape. None did.

Severus pointed a finger into the classroom, more than likely to the guilty culprit, and took a few quick steps toward the doorway. "Detention for a week, Mr. Romaine, and fifty points from Hufflepuff! When I say no more, Romaine, it _means_ **no more**! Let this be a not to the rest of you: **never** substitute Horned Slugs with Flobberworm Mucus! _Especially_ when your substitution is a result of negligence and being wasteful!"

Agnes heard snickers and giggles from the unseen students. She took this opportunity to turn back the way she had came.

"Why," she heard Snape's voice echo. "Aren't you **all** _writing this down_? Not so fast, Professor Blackwood."

 _Shit… So close_. Agnes stopped and slowly turned back to where she had been originally facing. Agnes smiled and politely nodded to the man quickly approaching her. "Professor Snape."

"Drop the formalities, if you would, please."

"But of course." Agnes' smile faded.

"You ran away before we could finish our… discussion last night."

Agnes' smirk betrayed her disdain of that incident.

Severus went on. "You didn't give me any time to respond to you… fabrications."

"Hm," Agnes' smirk tightened. "As much as I would like to help you, Professor, I'm afraid that you have a class to attend to."

"And I'm _afraid_ , **Professor** , that you haven't a choice in the matter."

There was another explosion. "I'm _**afraid**_ , Severus, that your ignorant students have made _your_ **choice** , despite your wishes."

Snape cursed as he stalked back to his classroom. Reaching the door, he turned to Agnes. he pointed a finger and opened his mouth to speak. With his words failing him, Snape pivoted on his heel to go back into the classroom.

* * *

Dinner time again at Hogwarts and, as usual, Agnes was elsewhere. This time, she was in her office adjoined to her classroom. She held a fictional muggle-novel about werewolves in her hand. Though a muggle, the author had a pretty vivid imagination when it came to describing the werewolves individually, as well as how they transformed. They had no idea that their imagination… could just be very much real. Ha, foolish muggles; they entertained her.

Agnes looked out the window and placed the muggle-novel onto her desk. It was dark outside. Kind of obvious, yes, but it was darker than usual when it was dinner time. With common sense, that means it's _after_ dinner time.

 _Now I can be on my merry little way without the bother of students running about the halls_.

She just had to make a few final adjustments. There were papers to neatly put away, and the book to set back into its own proper place. Things that wouldn't take no more than a few seconds.

 _Rattle_.

"The hell…?"

 _Rattle_.

Again.

Agnes looked around in bewilderment to try to identify the source of the sound. She could have slapped herself. It was only the handle to the door! She had a habit of locking her office door after teaching hours. If it was a student and they were smart enough to know how to unlock the door then all the power to them. If it was a teacher, Agnes would be seeing the person on the other side of the door any minute.

The door unlocked in response to the Alohomora Charm.

 _Good. Whoever it is isn't stupid_.

"You were missing from dinner yet again, Professor Blackwood."

Severus. Severus- _ **fucking**_ -Snape.

 _Of course. Why is it that I am not surprised_?

"I suppose," Agnes answered. "That I have better things to do with my time than attend the Great Hall to dinner."

"Oh, and what would that be?"

Agnes held up the muggle werewolf novel for Snape to see. "Reading. It's much more entertaining than attending din-din in the Great Hall."

"As a teacher of Hogwarts, you are expected to dine with use at the Great Hall." Severus crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh, is it now? I don't remember that being in my job description. Oh wait… What's that? It's not. If the Headmaster had a problem with my absence, he would have spoken to me by now. Now, please, Severus, I would appreciated it if you would get your bulbous nose out of my business."

"Why you," Severus pulled out his wand and aimed it at Agnes' throat. "You insolent low life!"

Agnes leaned her head back in an attempt to move her head as far away from Severus' wand. In doing so, she exposed her neck even more to him. _Oh well; can't be helped_. If Agnes played her cards right, he would think that she were asking for mercy and he would obey - with cheek. _If that were what it took, then so be it, but not in her own bloody office!_

"My, Severus," Agnes smiled the signature Slytherin smile. _He should know this smile all too well_. Severus pressed his wand against her wand with more pressure. "So touchy…"

Agnes tilted her head to the side inquisitively. The corner of her mouth lifted into a faint smirk as she looked up at him within the corner of her eyes. "Now, tell me, Severus, why have you come into my office and unlocked my door to do so? What troubles your mind?"

Severus frowned. Riddles - **this** was the Agnes Blackwood that he remembered. Someone who could not be trusted. It had been rumored amongst wizards that Bellatrix LeStrange and Agnes Blackwood could have passed for sisters. That is what Severus had heard, anyway.

"Stop the foolishness. Your behavior yesterday was not acceptable as a professor at Hogwarts. I came to reprimand your actions as well a-"

"As well as what, Severus? Scold and reprimand me for bringing up the past?" More pressure against Agnes' neck. She ignored it. "The past… it happened, Severus. Get over it. Get over her. _Run away_."

Agnes leaned her body weight against Severus' wand-holding hand. She was moving her body toward his. Alarmed, Severus jumped back. If she tried anything, he could sustain her while remaining a safe distance away. The witch only stood and stared at him with a sinister smile across her lips.

"You retched snake!"

Severus' only response was laughter. Maniacal laughter. _And_ _ **this**_ _was what Dumbledore hired as a teacher…_

What then occurred frightened Severus even more. Agnes Blackwood then began to… sing.

" _ **Thumbing through the pages of your fantasies; pushing all the mercy down. All of your hate cannot be found; so you can try to tear me down**_."

Agnes began to walk toward him. Her eyes never left his, and her smile never faded.

"Why, Severus?" Agnes' voice dropped in volume - barely a whisper. Her words became more husked. "Why are you trying to make fun of me? Do you find it funny?" Her eyes widened as she inquired the man before her. She waited for Severus' response. He gave none.

"You take your turn lashing out at me. Thumbing through the pages of your fantasy. But, oh so innocent Severus," Agnes came ever the more closer. She stopped directly in front of Severus. Snape stood completely still. Agnes' face slowly crept closer to his as she spoke. "I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming. All of this just so you can try to tear me down."

Agnes was no resting her chin upon Severus' shoulder - whispering directly into his ear. "I wanna see you take a swing at me."

Severus' eyes widened in confusion. How should she propose such a thing? If he did take a swing at her…, they were both teachers at Hogwarts! He would lose his job. _Maybe that's just what she wants… Can't give her that satisfaction_.

Agnes backed away a few paces. She began to rotate her hips as she danced and sang again. " _ **I, I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming. So you can try to tear me down. Beat me to the ground. I will see you screaming.**_ "

Severus was beginning to believe she had lost her ever-loving mind… That's it; that explains her behavior. All he had to do was alert Dumbledore to this encounter, and she could be sent off to the nearest loony bin.

Then, her dancing and singing show stopped. She resumed her previous stance. She was right before him again. Just staring at him.

"Severus," She whispered. "I know that you don't trust me, and I know that apparently you don't like me. You especially don't like me being here at Hogwarts. I have changed since the last time we've met. Hopefully, my behavior just now will refresh your memory of how I used to be. That isn't me now. All I can do is prove it to you."

Agnes turned to walk to her desk. She resumed her previous tasks before Severus interrupted her. She was putting the stacks of papers into the drawers, and placing the muggle-novel into the top upper right-hand drawer. Once finished, Agnes turned to face him again. "Oh, and Severus? If you do feel the need to reprimand me, I would advise you not to do so. Last that I recall, that is left to the authority of the Headmaster. Are you the Headmaster?"

Severus Snape remained silent; staring. He said nothing. Agnes smile, "That's what I thought."

Agnes moved to leave the office. Before exiting, she stopped and faced Severus once again. "I do so wish that you would trust me… I am not what I appeared to be those times we had seen one another. I'm not some monster that you cannot trust. I bid you good evening, Severus."

With those words, she departed the office. She left Severus staring at her retreating form bewildered and disoriented.

 _ **I would like to say thank you to those who have given this story so many reviews and follows so far! It means a lot to me. I was expecting to post this chapter a lot earlier today, but, as usual, I procrastinated and caught up on some well deserved sleep (my cat did not object, as she was my partner in crime).**_

 _ **I cannot say when the next chapter will be, but I do know it will be a filler chapter.**_

 _ **I would like to thank you guys again for reading and voting!**_

 _ **~ DJ-Kyoto**_


	11. It Was Never to Become

Smoke drifted through the air of the old castle chamber. Daylight pierced through the thin curtains of the window. The sunlight and smoke merged together. Yellow wafts fumed and curled; the ultimate goal was to slither its way to the ceiling and throughout the whole room.

A woman sat on the small bed in the corner. The smoke polluting the air originated from the cigarette in her left hand. She was curled into a ball on the vertex of the wall beside the bed. She rested her forehead atop of her knees. Her long, dark brown ringlets draped around her body. She lifted her head only enough to inhale a drag from the Maverick cigarette's filter. The woman flicked the excess ash into the glass topper of a candle - her makeshift ashtray. The woman began to slightly rock on her haunches. Her lips moved as she whispered. She sang.

" _ **Here in the darkness I know myself. Can't break free until I let it go.**_ "

Another inhale of the stinging smoke.

" _ **Darling, I forgive you. After all, anything is better than to be alone. And in the end I guess I had to fall. Always find my place among the ashes.**_ "

A white-based calico cat jumped onto the mattress. The animal walked over to the woman in confidence to ask for her attention. The cat sat directly beside the woman and stared up at her owner. She meowed. The woman reached out to the cat and petted the top of her head - caressing the animal's ears. The cat purred. She rubbed her head against the human's hand in content. The cat rubbed the whole side of her body against the woman's arm as the petting session continued. Then, the attention stopped. The woman's right hand went limp; her left brought the cigarette to her mouth again. The cat meowed to the human in an attempt to alert her of her remaining presence. Her voice was not heard.

" _ **I can't hold on to me. Wonder what's wrong with me.**_ " The woman continued her singing. Her voice grew in volume. The emotions of the lyrics overtook her as she belted her heart out.

" _ **Lithium**_ ," her voice went back to a whispering alto. " _ **Don't wanna lock me up inside**_."

Her volume grew again, " _ **Lithium**_." Back down to the whisper. " _ **Don't wanna forget how it feels without Lithium. I want to stay in love with my sorrow**_."

The calico tilted one ear to the side in annoyance of being ignored. What possessed humans to want to carry their voices like this?

The animal tried once again to get the woman's attention. Absentmindedly, the woman dropped her right arm to pet the cat again. She purred in happiness.

"Beatrice, do you think that he means to do this to me? Do you believe he is capable of seeing me as anything other than what I was?"

The cat didn't so much as meow in response. Instead, the calico groomed her paw; it was as though the cat really could care less about her owner's predicament. _And why should she? She gets meals everyday. All she has to do is eat and sleep…_

Beatrice looked up at her owner from her grooming and churred. The little noise got her owner's attention. The cat walked over to the book that the human had been reading for the past week. She sat on its cover. The woman stared at the cat. Was she trying to tell her something?

 _Of course she was!_ That cat was smarter than she gave her credit for.

She needed to be like the main character in the book - she needed to be strong; to be coy; to be brave; to be what she had been portraying all of her life. She needed to be subtle, yet ruthless.

The woman got off of the bed and walked over to Beatrice and picked her up in her arms. She laid down onto the bed with the cat placed on top of her chest. She gave the cat the attention that she had been begging for for the past ten minutes. The woman gave the cat affection until the cat was happily contented with the attention.

 _Lithium… stay in love with you._

 _ **I'm gonna let it go.**_

The human put the cat back down onto the bed and opened the wardrobe across the room with the wave of her hand. Her fingers played a "come-hither" motion. A set of black robes levitated toward the witch.

She had a tutoring session to attend to. She was not going to be late - again.

Agnes believed that the tutoring session with Juno had went well. The girl's marks in Magical Theory had improved a great deal. She was happy that she could help a young, promising student understand the beauty of Magical Theory. Alas, she must now focus on the task at hand; it was her turn, yet again, to patrol the halls of Hogwarts.

In the earlier part of the term, Agnes had been more thorough in her patrol; but as of late, she had mainly stuck to the dungeons. There usually wasn't any students out and about, anyway. Either way, Agnes had been feeling anxious about the nights she was scheduled for patrol. _Usually I run in to_ _ **him**_ …

It was as If he purposely seeked her. Knowing Severus Snape, he probably did just that.

As usual, the corridors were empty. Agnes slowly crept in the dungeons' empty halls. She debated going back to her chambers to retrieve this device the muggles called a Walkman. Some music should pass the time. Though it would be muggle music, it was still music nonetheless.

Agnes reached the end of the corridor she was currently patrolling. She peered around the corner. There was nothing there; neither to the left, nor the right. Absolutely nothing. Agnes saw it as a better time than any to retrieve the Walkman. She turned the opposite way toward the direction of her private chambers. There was another person there! Agnes took a quick step back as she gasped. She placed her palm against her chest in an effort to regain her composure. Thanks to the _lumos_ light from her wand, Agnes was able to look up into the dark eyes before her.

"Out sneaking about, are we?"

Agnes sighed. She should have expected as such. "I'm not a student, Severus."

A shadow of a smile played on his lips. "That isn't what you believed the other evening."

Agnes' eyes narrowed. _Really? He really went there?_

"Haha, silly me," Agnes' voice was thick with sarcasm. "If you must know _**Professor**_ , tonight I am scheduled to patrol. As I am sure you are as well."

Severus said nothing. _Or maybe_ , Agnes thought, _he just doesn't sleep well._ It would explain why he was always about when she was patrolling. She could see the anguish in his eyes. He hid it well, though Agnes could see right through it. She was thankful that Severus had no idea how well she really knew him. She could never tell him the full scale picture. It had to stay her secret.

"Well, then," he spoke. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your... duties."

Agnes didn't know what to say. He was letting her go? ... Willingly? Agnes' brow furrowed as she struggled to comprehend the purpose of Severus' actions. _Perhaps Dumbledore had a talk with him..._

Hesitant, Agnes continued on her way to her private chambers. A hand gripped her wrist. The momentum turned her to face Severus. She unintentionally looked him in the eye. Her own eyes widened as the visions enveloped her.

 _ **It was nightfall. I was running through a grassy field. Fire burned the crops in the field a good distance away. It's easier to run. The pleading and screaming echoed in my ears. Those screams came from the voices I had known all my life. Tears stung at my eyes. It was just the smoke... I fled to go to a better place. I needed to get somewhere safer. I needed to get away.**_

 _ **I found an abandoned stable a ways off. I sat in the upper chamber in a corner next to the window. They were dead. All of them. The stinging tears won the battle of the wills. They smoothly cascaded down my cheeks. I guess it wasn't the fire or the smoke.**_

 _ **"If I could change, I would, " I whispered. "Take back all the pain, I would." A whisper was all that I could muster. "If I could stand up and take the blame, I would. If I could retrace every wrong move I made, I would. If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would."**_

 _ **The tears continued to plague me no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I continued to cry. Outside, if I had looked out the window, I would have seen the Dark Mark forming in the clouds.**_

Agnes gasped as they came back to the present moment. Her skin had a thin coat of sweat. The smell of the smoke refilled her nostrils. Agnes' eyes narrowed as she regarded Severus. "What was it I told you about sticking your nose in other people's business? You had no right to see those things!"

"Just as you had no right those years ago at Hogwarts in these very dungeons," Severus sneered.

Agnes straightened her posture. "I had never intended to hurt you, nor to have you find out you were being watched. I had accidentally stumbled upon you; at that time, I was not aware that it was, indeed, you."

Severus' body stiffened. So, he had given his own secret away? No, she sought after him. The memory proved it. She was lying, but he'd play along. "How do I know that you haven't stalked me any other times?" Severus crossed his arms over his chest.

"Because I did not," Agnes answered. "I had better things to do than to spy on a fellow-"

Agnes' eyes darkened as she smiled. "Oh, that's right. You have no room to judge me, do you, Snape?" Her head tilted to the side.

Severus remained silent. His visage revealed nothing.

"Well, then," Agnes turned in the direction of her private chambers. "If you'll excuse me, kindly, Snape, I'll be on my way." Agnes began to walk. Her wand was held level with her head as it casted _lumos_. She had just exited the corridor and was entering another.

Her head made contact with one side of the wall. Her vision was temporarily blurred. Her attacker roughly turned her around to face them. _Damn Snape_.

"Do. It."

Agnes scowled in annoyance. "What makes you think that I'll tell anyone anything? Let go of me!"

"Just confess, woman!" Severus yelled as he struggled to effectively keep her still.

"I have nothing to confess!"

Severus grimaced as his arm muscles flexed to keep the witch in the same spot.

"Yes, Severus, I know. I deserve torment. You've made that very clear since I had arrived."

Severus' grip on her shoulders tightened. Agnes winced, but refused to cry out in pain. "Confess!"

Agnes dropped her arms and ceased her struggling. She stared up into Severus' face. Severus stiffened and stilled. What was she scheming, now? Neither of them said a word. The two of them stood there in silence staring at one another. Severus loosened his grip. Had she gone catatonic like that one day...?

Agnes pressed her palms on both sides of his face. She held him in place as she leaned forward to press her lips to his. Severus' eyes widened. He couldn't move away, for if he did, Agnes would fall forward and the position would become... worse. Severus could only stand there and take it. Eventually, Agnes had had enough. She pulled away from Severus. She turned in the direction she had been going and went on her way to her private chambers.

Severus could only stare in confusion. The bloody hell was that about? Snogging him like that. Severus didn't believe he would ever understand that woman. Pitter-patter of little footsteps from a Gryffindor first year came from behind, but Snape didn't hear the student approaching. "Um... Pr-Professor?"

Severus whipped around. Had he seen...? The student was probably lost. Gryffindors had no business wandering about in the dungeons. Severus gripped the student's wrist loosely as he escorted him back to the Gryffindor Common Room entrance. "Ten points from Gryffindor for being out after curfew."

Agnes sat in the fetal position on her bed. Her back was against the wall, and she had a bottle of pink moscato wine in her hand. She was well into the bottle. This was Agnes' sixth time refilling it. She took a sip from the bottle, then lit a muggle-made cigarette.

 _Does he even notice my feelings for him? Will he see how much he means to me? No, I think not. It was never to_

 _ **Hello. I apologize for not updating in a while. It was due to a combination of life and procrastination. I am back now, though. Unfortunately, I do not know when the next chapter will be. I have to make the chapter outlines for the next 4-6 chapters.**_

 _ **I completely went off the outline toward the end of this chapter.**_

 _ **Now, I have a question for you. I meant to ask this in the last chapter, but I forgot.**_

 _ **Agnes Blackwood has secrets. What do YOU think her secrets are?**_

 _ **I would love to hear from you guys. I want see if I'm dropping enough hints. ;)**_

 _ **And the lyrics that Agnes sings at the beginning of this chapter is from Lithium by Evanescence.**_

 _ **Evanescence references fit this story well (at least I think so).**_

 _ **~ DJ-Kyoto**_


	12. Cruel Wanting

The corridors of Hogwarts were flooded with students on their way to their next class. The crowd parted as two people made their way through the masses. A Hufflepuff first year trailed behind Professor Blackwood. His wrist was firmly in her grasp. They arrived at a descending staircase in a dark part of the castle. The first year hesitated as it only seemed to get darker the further down the stairs they went. He looked up at Professor Blackwood for reassurance. What he found was an unreadable visage as they moved on. "Um… Professor Blackwood?"

"You said that you didn't know where the Potions classroom was, so I am leading you to that very class. Unless, of course, you want to be late and face the notorious wrath of Professor Snape." Agnes looked straight ahead of them as she spoke.

"U-uh… N-no ma'am, I don't."

"Then quit your doddling and get a move on!"

Professor picked up her pace down the stairs. Other students on their way down into the dungeons were approaching closely behind them. The Hufflepuff boy tried his best to keep up with Professor Blackwood without tripping over his own ankles. The task proved to be difficult, but he had managed to keep his composure as they approached the landing of the stairs.

Professor Blackwood turned to the left of the corridor. The first year followed her silently. Eventually, they arrived in front of an ancient looking wooden door. Professor Blackwood stopped and looked at the first year expectantly. What was he to do, now? The Hogwarts professor continued looking down at the young student before her.

"Well, aren't you going to go in?"

The first year said nothing. He didn't know what to say. Professor Blackwood sighed and turned to the door. The student was late for his Potions class, which meant that she was late for her own class - much to her annoyance. Professor Blackwood knocked on the door.

There was silence before the door swung open rather abruptly. The door was answered by an older man wearing all black robes with medium-lengthed hair to match. The first year stared at the man. This was the Professor Snape that he had heard about.

Professor Snape paused as he noticed it was Professor Agnes Blackwood who had knocked on the door. He was frozen in place as he was trying to figure out as to why she would be bothering him at that very moment. Agnes cleared her throat. "Professor Snape. Mister Zanderbelt is a student who has recently been added to your class this period. He had lost his way, so I escorted him myself. I am very confident that you can take care of things from here."

Severus Snape looked down at the first year Hufflepuff as if seeing him for the first time since opening the door - which it really was. Snape's mouth failed to aid him. He appeared he was going to speak, only to close his lips again. He momentarily pursed his lips before answering, "Yes. Thank you Professor… For… escorting Mr. Zanderbelt. I can… take him off of your hands from this point."

Agnes smiled and gave Severus a slight curtsey. "Thank you, Severus. If you do not mind, I will be on my way, then."

Severus watched as Agnes turned on her heels and came back the way she had come. "Well, boy, come inside. Ten points from Hufflepuff for being tardy!"

Finally back in her own classroom, Agnes slumped into her chair at the front. Her students were eagerly awaiting her instructions. Agnes looked to the side at the floating stick of chalk by the chalkboard. She looked down at the notes before. "We are still on… The Magical Theory of Spells?"

A student had answered her rhetorical question. Agnes hadn't cared for the answer. She was shocked that they were so behind! They should have been in the next chapter of the Magical Theory textbook by now!

Agnes place her elbow on the surface of the desk as she pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. They had so much work still to do, and she had been more occupied with her own troubles.

"Alright," Agnes stood and turned to the chalkboard. The stick of chalk began to whizz around her head and shoulders. "Where exactly did we leave off?"

Agnes flipped through the pages of her curriculum and her lessons planned that she had made at the start of the term. Her students were behind. The should have been in the next section in all classes - not just the younger third years. _I've got to to get them where they need to be… They need to be into The Magical Theory of Charms by the end of next week!_

She headbutted the surface of the desk in her office. She would just have to speed things up. Even if that meant the students' hands would be cramping from the amount of notes that they were taking. It had to be done.

Agnes got up to leave her office. She glanced at the clock in the classroom as she passed through. The halls would be empty as the students were at dinner. Agnes debated whether it would be a good idea to attend dinner for once. She hadn't eaten a good meal in a while, but on the other hand there'd be Severus Snape to deal with. And after her foolish behavior the night before, she wasn't sure if she could handle that. She had invaded every ounce of the man's personal space with abandon.

After all, the man was still hung up on the death of that Lily Evans-Potter… Merlin knows why. No matter Agnes' feelings, it was wrong of her and she knew it.

A growl from Agnes' abdomen betrayed her hunger. She sighed as she could not deny her body the food that it did deserve. Without giving any more debate on the matter, Agnes made her way to the Great Hall.

Chatter filled her ears from the many students within the Hall's contents. Her presence hadn't phased any of them in the least. Well, it was good to know that she wasn't viewed in the same manner as Professor Snape. Agnes took comfort in that.

Agnes swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in her throat before making her way to the staff's table. Dumbledore smiled and nodded his acknowledgement as she approached. "Professor Blackwood! So nice of you to join us this evening."

Agnes had been watching Severus in the corner of her eye. She watched as his body stiffened at the mentioning of her name. Apparently he hadn't noticed that she had even entered the Hall. _Funny since he is usually the one who asks me why I never appear_.

"I'm afraid that my appetite had gotten the best of me tonight, Headmaster."

"Pull up a chair, Professor! We're all very pleased that you could make it. The other Professors and I were discussing how the progress of the classes were going."

"Yes," Flitwick commented. "How are your classes going, Blackwood?"

Agnes signed and massaged her forehead in annoyance. "Not as well as I'd like I'm afraid."

The other professors said nothing as they waited for her to elaborate.

"I am afraid… that my classes are a week behind schedule… At least, they're behind what I would like for them to be."

They all seemed to understand, then, as they all nodded in unison.

"Never fear, Professor Blackwood," Dumbledore patted her shoulder. "Each student learns at their own pace, and as such, the classes take their own pace as well. Do not fret if you are slightly behind what you would like to be. As long as the students learn something and you, as a teacher, enrich their lives, that is all that really matters."

Agnes smiled to acknowledge that she had heard his words; however, the Headmaster was not fooled. He knew that she lacked confidence in herself. The smile didn't reach her smile. The Headmaster left the topic untouched. Agnes knew that the Headmaster spoke wisdom. She also knew that he did not believe her brave facade. Dumbledore was in her corner, though, and that is all that she could ask for.

The other professors carried on about different topics. Agnes, along with Severus, remained silent.

Severus was obviously uncomfortable. Agnes knew that it was her presence by his side that caused the man's rigid state. She mentally cursed herself as she focused on the embroidery of the napkin by her side. He was the person who she wanted to change for… the person who she hoped would one day fully accept her - flaws and all. Yet, she was the person who made his skin crawl.

Those many years ago she had been the only one there for Severus, though she cannot reveal the truth. Those many years ago he cried for Lily Evans. Those many years ago Agnes herself was crying for Severus. She should make a move to confess her feelings, yet she can't. The one she loves hates him. Just how the one that Severus loved hated him. The two of them drowning in their own agony for love that was never to be. Both of them yearning - both of them cursed with a cruel wanting. A wanting that neither of them could act upon. Lily Evans had married James Potter. Severus was madly in love with another woman that Agnes could never dream to compete with. Lily Evans was now dead. Severus is still loyal to the dead woman to the point of insanity.

Having eaten her fill - mainly her appetite no longer existing - Agnes stood to take her leave back to her chambers. Severus was startled by the sudden movement. He watched as Agnes left the Great Hall. She made her way back into the dark and damp dungeons. Severus wondered if he should say something. He sensed that Agnes Blackwood was in a foul mood - a mood that he was all too familiar with. Severus didn't understand while, at the same time, he understood almost perfectly.

Severus had seen something in those memories he had invaded. He had seen that Agnes wasn't the person that he had known the years that they interacted after graduating Hogwarts. Though, Severus did not understand the woman's obvious depression.

He could only watch as she exited the Great Hall's giant doors.

 _ **I apologize for my very long absence… I just haven't really had that much inspiration and most of the chapters that I had written in the outline were made to be fillers… While I am trying to stick to the outlines that I made back in September, I catch myself changing them to be part of the plot. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, really.**_

 _ **Along with the lack of inspiration, life goes on. Work, life, sleep; etc. The basic daily functions. Then before you know it, it's April.**_

 _ **One of the biggest things that has taken up most of my time is the fact that I am 26 weeks pregnant.**_

 _ **We are having a little boy and his name shall be Atticus Thanatos Wolfe. He's due July 25th, 2016, and we're very excited for his arrival! Honestly, I am excited and impatient for June and July to get here.**_

 _ **Also, I think if I talked to some of the readers, that would help my inspiration a great deal… So, are there any of you lovely people who happen to have Skype? Or even Facebook. I'd love to add you and talk to you guys one on one! If you're willing, just send me a private message and we can exchange information. If you're willing, of course.**_


	13. Theory Research

The scrawl of a quill was all that could be heard in Agnes Blackwood's office. There were at least three different books opened on her desk. Random sentences were highlighted at various intervals on each of the pages. The heading of her parchment read " _Magical Theory Notes_ ," and the header was underlined. A few books levitated as they waited their turn to be opened and skimmed. The feather of the quill danced with furor as Agnes wrote down what had been highlighted. Her finger marked her place as she worked.

A knock on her office door broke her concentration. The quill jagged from Agnes' startlement. The previously levitating books fell to the floor with a crashing thud. Agnes shook her head as she looked down in dismay at the parchment and leather binding heap on the floor. Sighing, Agnes called, "Come in."

The door creaked open enough to allow half of a face to be visible. "Agnes, may I come in? You had requested to see me." It was only McGonagall.

"Yes, come in Professor McGonagall."

Minerva looked about the room as she stepped in. "My, I hope that I wasn't disturbing you with anything."

Agnes followed McGonagall's gaze to the fallen books in the floor. "Oh, no. Just startled me is all. Please, sit."

Minerva gathered her robes and sat down in the chair opposite to Agnes' desk. Agnes set aside the parchment that she had been writing on just a short while ago and the closed the books that were still open.

"I had called upon you to ask if you could assist me in some research," Agnes said as she pulled another book and more parchment from the bottom drawer of her desk. "My curriculum covers a bit into the Magical Theory of Transfiguration. More for the advanced students, actually. But I seem to have run into a sort of dilemma. I can't find much on Transfiguration in my Magical Theory texts and I was wondering if you happened to possess some material that I could reference."

"Why, yes, of course! I would be thrilled to assist you." Minerva nodded in Agnes' direction as she smiled - much like a lady would do at a tea party. "I will have to go through some of my older materials, but I believe that I have something that'd be of some interest to you."

"Thank you, Professor." Agnes returned McGonagall's smile. "You can send it to me at anytime whenever you have found it."

"But of course." Professor McGonagall bowed her head in courtesy. "Please do excuse me, but I must scurry off."  
Minerva stood and turned to leave. Before the Gryffindor had made it to the door, she stopped. "Oh, Agnes, dear."

Agnes looked up to her elder colleague.

"Dumbledore had asked me to tell you that he would like to see you up in his office whenever you are free."

Ah, Dumbledore. Agnes knew what he would want. He most likely would be asking her how she's doing, or how she is feeling about the position of Hogwarts Professor. Honestly, Dumbledore was the last person that Agnes wanted to see right now. She doubted that she really had any choice in the matter. He was the Headmaster of Hogwarts and her boss. She might as well go see what he wanted. Agnes feigned a smile. "Thank you, McGonagall. I will see him as soon as I finish up with my research for the day."

Minerva nodded and took her leave. Agnes was alone in her office once more. Sweet, sweet solitude.

* * *

Agnes was accompanied only by the sound of her heels clacking against Hogwart's floors as she marched to the Headmaster's office. She swayed her arms to keep a steady rhythm as she walked. She had maybe 40 minutes until she had to go back up to the third corridor for her first class of the day. It would be dreadful if the professor were late to her own class. How would she know who was tardy and who wasn't? That probably wasn't the best way to look at the situation, but that's all Agnes had reasoning wise.

She rounded the corner of the corridor the Headmaster's office resided. She approached the gargoyle, said the password, and took to the staircase. The hinges of the Headmaster's Chamber doors creaked as Agnes approached. Dumbledore himself was seated behind the massive desk. The old wizard smiled as he motioned for Agnes to sit down.

As Agnes' behind planted itself into the seat of the chair, the doors seemingly closed on the own just as they had opened. Agnes neatly folded her hands upon her lap before speaking. "You had wished to see me, Headmaster?"

"Indeed I have, Miss Blackwood. I had wanted to call upon you to ask how you have been adjusting to Hogwarts?"

Agnes had figured that was what the old man would get at. A smile tweaked at the corners of her lips before her facial muscles rested once again. "I've been adjusting well, Headmaster. It really isn't that hard to get back into Hogwart's schedule after one has spent seven years of their own within these walls. I would also like to thank you, Headmaster, for allowing me to have my planning period in the mornings. I don't do too well with getting up dreadfully early like the students."

"Not a problem at all, Miss Blackwood. It was a very rational request. And the students seem to be doing really well in your classes."

"Thank you, Headmaster. You are too kind." Agnes bowed her head in courtesy.

"But, there is another thing."

Head still bowed, Agnes opened her eyes. Another thing? Her brows furrowed. What other thing could there be… All he usually wants when he asks to see me is a check on how I am doing within the school and my teachings.

"Tell me; has Severus been giving you any trouble at all?"

Agnes didn't lift her head. She merely cocked an eyebrow in confusion. Severus…? Of all the things that can happen in this trollish school, Dumbledore wanted to ask how her interactions were with Severus? Not if the school had wanted to troll her for old times sake and have the magical stairs take her to Argus Filch's office instead of her classroom (which has happened), but he had wanted to ask her about Severus?

All of the previous altercations between her and Snape quickly flashed into her mind's eye, but Agnes quickly stuffed them down. Severus has surprisingly left her alone as of late. Compared to how he had interrogated her in the beginning, the git had toned it down.

"S-Severus…? My, Headmaster, you had me worried there for a moment. Of all the things in this school I had expected you to inquire of me, Professor Snape was last on the list." Agnes hid her laughter behind her fingers.

Dumbledore arched an eyebrow in skepticism. "Ah. Am I right to assume you haven't had any problems with Professor Snape."

Agnes quickly composed herself and returned to a relaxed visage. "That is correct, Headmaster."

Dumbledore nodded and smiled. "Splendid. I am glad to see that the two of you are getting along well. That was one of my worries when you had filled the position of Magical Theory professor."

The old wizard folded his fingers together to rest his chin atop his knuckles as he looked in Agnes' direction. "That puts a lot off of my mind."

"You needn't have worried yourself, Headmaster. I am getting along fine."

Dumbledore nodded again. "To more lightening news, I heard that you had asked for McGonagall's assistance in collaborating research. If I heard correctly, you were looking for reference material on the magical theory of Transfiguration?"

"That would be correct, Headmaster."

"Ah, I see," Dumbledore said. "When I was a professor at Hogwarts, I had a knack for Transfiguration myself. Perhaps I could be of some assistance to you."

Agnes' eyes widened as her lips widened into a smile. "Oh, would you, Headmaster!"

"I'm sure I have a few things that I could show you in your spare time. If that would be alright, of course."

"That would be splendid!"

"If all else, I will owl you what I find from my old reference materials and books."

"Thank you, Headmaster. I really appreciate it. As much as I hate to rush off, I must be getting to my students."

"But of course, Miss Blackwood. I hope that your research goes well."

"Again, thank you, Headmaster. I will most likely see you at supper." Agnes bowed as she left the Headmaster's office. Halfway down the corridor, the giant double doors boomed shut behind her. Agnes had forgotten about those doors.

All in all, she had better hurry before she was late to her own class.

* * *

It was much later in the afternoon. Agnes was teaching her Third Year class this period. Magical Theory becomes available to those in their Third Year. Since this is their first year taking Magical Theory, Agnes has to be sure to thoroughly cover everything on the curriculum.

"There are several different classifications of spells." The levitating chalk wrote the words as Agnes spoke. "In some cases, spells are misclassified and it creates confusion. The classes of spells are: curses, hexes, jinxes, and charms." Agnes paused to allow the students writing notes to catch up before she continued with the lecture.

"St. Mungo's most common cases that need immediate emergency treatment are those who suffer from misclassification of spells. Those problems are only oustripped in number by potion mistakes, broom and apparation accidents, and accidental magic that went awry.

"Charms Masters and Magical Theory Specialists are often called to explain these problems. Most simply get frustrated and resort to saying that they don't know instead of giving any sort of explanation."

There was a knock at the door. Agnes stopped reading from her notes to look up. Quills stopped in mid stroke simultaneously. Everyone paused to see who could possibly be interfering with the lecture. "Come in," Agnes called.

The door opened to reveal Professor Snape. Everyone was shocked. Some students openly gasped. In his hand, Snape held a stack of parchment. "I'd hate to… intrude… Professor Blackwood, but Professor McGonagall had asked me to … deliver these… .to you."

Snape awkwardly looked around as he spoke. He knew that every eye in the room was on him. Agnes' eyes softened at the sight. It was the Snape from when they were in Hogwarts. The shy, hesitant Snape.

Agnes met Professor Snape at the door to receive the parchments. "Thank you, Professor. Did Professor McGonagall have anything else?"

"As you can see, unless you were blind as a mole, this is all that I have in my possession."

"Ah, I see…" Aside from one snide remark, it was as though Snape was trying to be nice to her. Maybe he had given up on trying to hound her on her past, and accept that they were colleagues, now. One could only hope. "Did she say where she happened to find these?"

"No. I didn't ask questions, I am simply a messenger."

"Were you going this way anyway? I mean, you usually seem to stick to your dark dungeons."

A few students that were seated in the back of the class overheard Agnes' words and snickered amongst themselves.

Snape's eyes whipped to the not-well-contained laughter like a viper on its prey. His eyes darted back to Agnes. The coldness Agnes had begun to familiarize herself with returned in his onyx irises. "I will not stand here and be mocked, Professor Blackwood. I have much better things to be doing."

Severus Snape turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him as he made his way into the corridor to Merlin knows where. "Yeah," Agnes said. "Probably to go perfect a serum for his hair. I've heard that he is oh so self-conscious about it."

Agnes smiled as the children laughed - as she knew that they would. No one misses on a chance to laugh at Severus Snape.

Agnes' kinked brown locks shrouded her face as her smiled faded to a stern frown.

 _Yes, no one misses out on a chance to laugh at the poor, lonely, and broken Severus Snape._


	14. Theory vs Charms

" _The wand chooses the wizard_ \- not an entirely accurate statement. It would be more accurate to say that the **magic** chooses the wizard."

Agnes glanced again to the clock hanging above the blackboard. There was at least fifteen minutes or so left of class. Agnes looked back to the students before her. Surprisingly, they were all intrigued by the topic of today's lecture.

"Magic chooses us by finding, and then selecting, the wand that allows the clearest communication for that individual witch or wizard. This is determined by a number of traits including personality, the arrangement of stars on the night of the wizards birth, and other bigoted ideas such as various arithmetic ratios that make up one's body. I would go on, but this is not Arithmancy. All in all, when choosing our wands, it is one of the most magically complex occurrences that we will probably ever experience in our lives.

"The movements of one's wand; the pronunciation of the spell; clearly picturing the nature of the spell in one's mind; one's emotions; and the confidence in casting is said to determine how well one communicates their intentions to magic. At least that is what we are taught in Charms. A rather false claim, I must say. Unless we use these principles while learning an entirely new spell."

Agnes paused to allow those who were writing notes to catch up. She scanned over the students. Most of the Ravenclaws were sending her questioning looks. This was _Magical Theory_. Not their oh-so-beloved Charms class. Agnes shook her head at just the thought. Most of those "charms" that they were learning were nothing more than incorrectly classified hexes or curses. She would have to make a note to go over the correct classification of spells very soon. And she would make sure that she went over the proper classification with _every_ class - even the third years.

"The pronunciation of spells that Flitwick and the other professors are teaching you are nothing more than guidelines. The implication that the pronunciation of the spell is so very important is bogus. There are different variations of different spells with different variations of pronunciation. While some work better than others, it is not proven whether or not these pronunciations are what Magical Theory experts would call a spell's _true name_. The only real case where pronunciation is of the utmost importance is when we are trying to perform Transfiguration. One wrong move, or one wrong flick, can cause a mouse to be turned into a mutant rather than the preferred tea cup. I'm sure most of you have seen this with Professor McGonagall's exercises."

A wave of chuckles momentarily swept through the class.

"Through various languages, we are slowly working our way towards finding the True Name for magic. This theory, so far, states that Latin is the closest that we have come to the True Language of magic. Whatever the case may be, magic all comes down to how we communicate with it. However, I am afraid that the remainder of this discussion will have to wait for another day."

The class all looked to the clock hanging above the blackboard. It was time for the class to end and for them to enjoy having the rest of the afternoon class free. Those who were writing notes picked up the pace in their scrawling.

"Keep in mind that I will be moving at a faster pace next week to help you prepare for those midterms the other professors keep piping on about!"

Agnes had earned herself a few groans from the students who were still in earshot. The room was quickly emptying. Looking back at the clock herself, Agnes saw that she would easily have enough daylight left after grading the stack of papers on her desk. She had been itching to go to the Black Lake for a while, now. Agnes had found that she enjoyed spending time here and there with Hagrid. Hagrid was one of those people who don't judge you. He was nice to you as long as you were nice to him. Agnes liked that about Hagrid. First thing was first, though. The papers needed to be graded before she could start enjoying any free time.

* * *

Somehow, Agnes had managed to finish grading the huge stack of papers by 5:30 that afternoon. She had plenty of daylight left, as she had predicted, and an hour or so before it was time for dinner in the Great Hall. With a simple spell, the stacks of parchment organized themselves by class and by year. Agnes was hurriedly on her way out the door. Well, she _was_. Before an obstacle had gotten in her way. She had bumped into what felt to be a person. A taller person. Already knowing who it would be, Agnes hesitantly looked up to face Professor Severus Snape. "How may I help you today, Professor Snape?"

"You are needed at the bottom of the stairs in the main entry way. Flitwick asked me to fetch you. I suggest that you hurry." With nothing more to say, Severus turned on his heel and went on his way down the corridor.

 _That was rather odd…_

Seeing as she was headed in that direction, anyway, Agnes didn't delay in going where she was told. She was greeted by an angry Professor Flitwick with an older, rather twiggy looking, Ravenclaw boy by his side.

"How dare you? Is all of this true, Blackwood?" Flitwick stood before Agnes with an accusing finger pointed at her. While seeing Flitwick wagging his finger at her wasn't exactly what Agnes would call intimidating, it was, however, puzzling.

Agnes could only blink in her obvious bout of confusion. "That would depend on what it is that we are talking about."

"It is about what you had said in class earlier, Professor Blackwood," the Ravenclaw boy said. "You had told us, and I quote, 'the pronunciation of spells are nothing more than guidelines.' Do you remember saying that, Professor?"

Agnes sighed and rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest as she shifted her weight onto the heel of one foot. "Why of course I remember saying those words. Because they are true."

"No! No they are **not** , Professor Blackwood! The wand movement and pronunciation of spells is very critical in assuring that the spell is executed correctly!"

"As says your textbooks, Professor Flitwick - not Magical Theory."

"Wand movements and pronunciation -"

"Are **completely** _unnecessary_." Agnes interrupted. "As I have told my students; pronunciation is nothing more than a guideline. We, as witches and wizards, have not yet found the correct True Language of Magic. What we have found are fragments of words and spells that can't even compare to all that magic is."

"In your lecture today, I believe that Rork told me you were discussing communication with magic. Without proper pronunciation, there exists no proper _**communication**_."

Agnes sighed again. "If this were true, Professor Flitwick - if it all were really that important - there wouldn't be wizards and witches whom are capable of **wordless** magic. Would there, now, Professor Flitwick?" Agnes placed her hands upon her hips and bend down to Flitwick's level.

The tiny professor was infuriated by this point. His body had begun to slightly shake from pent up anger. His face had begun to turn a bright crimson. Completely overcome by emotion, Professor Flitwick pulled out his wand and pointed it at Agnes. Agnes's wand was in-hand within the blink of an eye. "Going to Charm me, now, Professor?"

"Don't you tempt me, Blackwood!"

"Oh, but I'd love to know what you'd do to me!" An animalistic smirk spread across Agnes's lips. "Of course, you know, charms that are used in battle, or used to inflict some embarrassing demise upon one's victim, are not charms at all. They are indeed hexes. Or curses." Her smile broadened as her eyes widened in anticipation. The movements of Agnes's lips emphasized every syllable that she spoke. "Did you know that, Professor?"

Flitwick arched an eyebrow at Agnes's sudden change in behavior. This was not a normal sight that Flitwick was used to seeing. His wand-wielding hand lowered as Agnes's intimidating figure steadily crept toward him. She stood behind him now. Her chin was on his shoulder. Her lips were inches away from his ear. Flitwick could feel the breath from each and every word that she spoke. "Just like how many curses are improperly named. Take for example the Imperi-"

"Stop this at once!" A voice boomed into the entryway. The large cathedral-like ceilings only echoed the command. Agnes jumped away from Flitwick as Dumbledore came into the light. "What is the meaning of this?"

Flitwick stood dumbfounded. He was unable to properly form a sentence. Dumbledore glanced in Agnes's direction. Agnes only shrugged as she lifted her hands up in feigned confusion. The Ravenclaw student stepped forward. Though he was not quite sure what he had just witnessed himself, he knew that Flitwick was in no condition to intelligently speak. "You see Headmaster, Professor Blackwood had said to us in our lecture today that all that Professor Flitwick was teaching us was bigoted, wrong, and unnecessary."

Dumbledore didn't say a word. He only looked in Agnes's direction.

"Ah, but you did not tell the Headmaster all of what I had said. You merely gave him a part of a whole." Agnes crossed her arms in annoyance. "What _exactly_ did I say Professor Flitwick was wrong about, Rork?"

Dumbledore looked back to the Ravenclaw student. Shifting his weight on the heels of his feet in discomfort, Rork answered, "Professor Blackwood had said that wand movements and spell pronunciation were … unnecessary."

"Yes. That is, indeed, what I said."

Dumbledore nodded. Agnes knew that Dumbledore himself was capable of performing wordless magic. She did not need to explain anything more to him on the matter."

"Professor Flitwick," Dumbledore said. "Why don't we all agree to disagree? It isn't wise for us to start quarrels within the staff."

Coming out of shellshock, Flitwick weakly nodded. "Y-Yes, Headmaster."

"Let us all continue about our business, then, and not worry on the matter."

"Y-Yes, Headmaster…" Flitwick nodded again. Without another word Flitwick turned and walked to wherever else it was that he had to be. Flitwick stole a glance at Agnes before completely leaving the entryway. His eyes read of confusion and fear. However, Flitwick remained silent as he continued he leave.

Dumbledore and Agnes both watched as Flitwick left. The Ravenclaw boy was soon to follow. The two were left alone at the bottom of the stairs. They both said nothing. Agnes had no doubt that Dumbledore had known what was about to happen and saved her from needing to explain any unpleasantries in the near future. She was grateful for that.

"Well," Agnes said. "Now that that is settled, Headmaster, I shall continue on my way to the Black Lake. I was hoping that I could perhaps have a chat with Hagrid."

"Ah, yes, of course," Dumbledore nodded. Agnes could tell that he knew having some time to herself was wise. "I hope to see you at supper, Professor Blackwood." Dumbledore bowed as he spoke his words.

Agnes gave Dumbledore a hollow smile and a nod. She then left the castle for the Black Lake.

She really needed to sit by the bank and have some time to think. She needed to re-evaluate the decision that she had made at the beginning of this Hogwarts school year. What could have happened if Dumbledore hadn't had shown up when he did?

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 _ **Hello.**_

 _ **It's been roughly a month since I have posted anything. I apologize for that. My attention has been on other matters. Like finding the most comfortable position whenever baby Atticus kicks. Or making sure that I am well enough rested to continue to go to work (even though I hate it with a passion).**_

 _ **I am sad to say that I don't know when the next time that I update will be for the baby shower is two weeks away. I will most likely be spending the majority of my free time planning that.**_

 _ **All in all, everything is great my way.**_

 _ **I would like to thank each and every one of you who vote and comment on this story. I am really grateful that I still have people are are hanging around for the updates that I posted. It's good to know that this story isn't abandoned and that there are people who enjoy what I am writing.**_

 _ **Thank you to all of you! :)**_

 _ **~ DJ-Kyoto**_


	15. Walls Up

Her black robes billowed behind her as she descended the steps out of Hogwarts. Agnes was still fuming from her confrontation with Flitwick.

" _So he ratted me out, eh? Common behavior from a Ravenclaw…"_

"Blackwood."

Agnes paused. She looked about her surroundings but saw no one. Shrugging, she continued on.

"Blackwood!"

It was louder this time. The voice had seemed to come from behind a nearby tree Agnes had just passed. The voice hadn't sounded like Hagrid's. It was far too deep. If that was even possible - Hagrid had a deep voice, himself. Coming to a complete halt, Agnes watched the tree with caution. Slowly, a figure clad all in black crept from behind the tree with their arms crossed.

"Severu-? I mean, Professor Snape."

"Indeed," Severus nodded. "I must say, you're altercation with Professor Flitwick was quite… intriguing."

Agnes cringed.

 _Intriguing? He couldn't come up with a better adjective?_

"Yes, well… I'm not very proud of my behavior. I believe that I could have handle myself a bit better."

"I believe you handled yourself rather well."

 _Was that a compliment? It certainly sounded like one… though his face is just as stoic and unreadable as ever…_

"Thank you, then?"

"Not at all. It's quite… amusing when one can manage to… ruffle Flitwick feathers, so to speak. Fluster him, if you will."

"Well you're quite proper, aren't you?" Agnes smiled as a way to test the waters.

"Quite." Severus replied. The corner of his lip twitched almost unnoticeable.

 _Was that humor? Did Severus Tobias Snape just make a joke?_

"Well then… I'm on my way to the lake to try and clear my head from that horrid experience. You… can join me if you'd like?"

Severus tensed his shoulders, and his jaw tightened. The atmosphere changed as though there was a vice gripping their chests. A cold casted over them as Severus crossed his arms over his chest once again. "I think not."

Agnes placed her hands in the pockets of her robes as her shoulders dropped. "Alrighty, then."

 _He didn't have to get all worked up about it. A polite no would have sufficed._

"I guess I'll be on my way, then." Agnes turned and trudged on to the Black Lake. Halfway down, Agnes looked behind her to see if Severus was still there.

He … was?

 _Usually he'd be gone by now._

Agnes turned her attention back to her destination and took another few steps. Agnes looked back again in time to see Severus abruptly pivot with the ball of his foot back towards Hogwarts. His robes twirled from behind him and collected around his shins before furrowing out in time with his steps.

Saddened that their conversation had gone sour, Agnes tried to distract herself at the lake. She watched the ripples atop of the lake's surface when fish, or what Agnes had hoped to be fish, momentarily surfaced to collect the floating bugs.

Agnes lost herself in her thoughts. Would she ever have a moment of peace at Hogwarts? A moment where she wouldn't constantly be watched or outcasted by the other staff? Especially the other professors?

Agnes certainly hoped so.

And today, Severus actually complimented her! Even if it was only stating his amusement of the whole fiasco with Flitwick. An actual compliment!

 _He probably still has an issue with me being here, though. No doubt Dumbledore probably set him up into playing nice._

Agnes sighed as the sun began to set into the horizon. The orange and red streaks intensified on the ripples of the lake. There was no sign that Hagrid would show up today.

 _Oh well_ , Agnes thought. _He's probably down at some pub in Diagon Alley… or somewhere else. Might as well make my way to grab a bite._

The students had just seated themselves at their House Tables when Agnes arrived at the Great Hall. Dinner had not been served yet.

 _Right on time…_

Agnes took her seat to the available chair by Severus's side. Hagrid wasn't in the Great Hall, either. At least Agnes knew Hagrid didn't leave her waiting intentionally. He might have been off protesting some magical creature's rights. After all, this was Hagrid we're talking about.

Remembering how their conversation had taken a sour turn earlier, Agnes was on edge sitting next to Severus. Hell, she was always on edge around Severus. He didn't trust her and Agnes knew it. But, she also knew, there was nothing that she could do about it.

The room fell into a hush as Dumbledore stood to summon the food from the kitchens. The students dug in as the food appeared.

Agnes decided it best to ignore Snape as she made her plate. The silence had returned to its usual chatter from the students. It was so much easier for one to lose themselves in their thoughts. Scanning the serving platters of food to make her selection, Agnes caught a glimpse of Flitwick looking in her direction. Agnes returned his gaze with direct eye contact. Flitwick furrowed his brow before breaking eye contact and directing his attention elsewhere. Agnes picked out a slice of spiral cut ham to try to ignore the tension between them.

"Don't mind him," Severus whispered reassuringly. Agnes dropped her dinner knife onto her plate. The silverware bounced and clattered on to the table below. Severus had startled her. She hadn't expected him to speak - let alone to her. "He's just upset. Serves the bloody bogart right."

Agnes layed her hand over her chest in an attempt to recover herself. "How do you figure?"

"He's too high and mighty despite his outward appearance. He needs to learn charms are merely charms. There are other forms of magic. Magic he probably would never fully comprehend in all his life. Even Dumbledore doesn't know everything about magic; though, that is rather hard to believe." Severus took a drink from his goblet.

"Well," Agnes sighed. "Nice to see that someone's on my side."

"I tend to be rather… observant. There is one thing, however, that is still not fully understood."

Agnes looked Severus's way with her guard up. She raised her eyebrows in question.

"Tell me, Agnes Blackwood. Why are you really here?"

Agnes sighed. "Of course you would ask that again. My apologies, but I cannot answer you."

Severus said nothing but an almost inaudible sigh. He withdrew from the conversation, but Agnes could see his skepticism. Like with the Flitwick situation, Agnes tried her best to ignore the awkward tension as she finished her meal.

"It's been lovely, honestly," Agnes said as she came to a stand. "But I must be going now."

Agnes didn't wait for any form of response. She quickly made her way out of the Great Hall.


	16. The Intruder

In the dark of night, all was quiet. The students were all asleep (as far as Agnes or any other staff on patrol knew). Her heels clacked on the castle floors as she walked in the darkness. Agnes paused to gaze upon the night sky through a window. Based on the positioning of the stars, her patrol shift was almost to an end. Sighing with relief, Agnes started for the dungeons. By the time she would make it to her chamber door, her patrol would be over.

At last, Agnes arrived to the doorway to her home in Hogwarts. As she turned the doorknob, Agnes froze before she completely opened the door. A familiar meow had broken the usual silence. Agnes looked down to meet the green eyes of Beatrice. Agnes furrowed her brow in confusion. Why was Beatrice in the corridor instead of in the living chambers? Usually Beatrice was content with lazying about on the bed, or sitting on the window sill. The calico meowed again. Agnes looked to the cat then to the the door before her.

Agnes swept her foot to push the cat behind her. She pulled her wand out from the inside of her boot as she proceeded to open the door.

With caution behind every step, Agnes crept into what was supposed to be her safe place. Beatrice meowed and charged ahead "brr"ing the whole way.

 _Tch! Damn cat. Get yourself killed, then!_

Based on the location of the thud that was heard, Agnes guessed that Beatrice had launched herself on to the bed. With no harm being done to the cat, Agnes relaxed and stepped further into the threshold.

She closed the door behind her as she transferred her cloak to the nearby coat hanger stand.

Agnes sighed and ran a hand through her hair. After taking a couple steps forward, she froze. Her breathing and body came to a complete halt.

There they stood before her - the intruder. Their back was to her, but Agnes' best bet was to assume they already knew she was there.

Agnes rose her wand to chin level anticipating any sudden movements. The silhouette did not move. They both stood there in deafening silence - waiting on one or the other to make a move. Neither did.

Finally Agnes spoke, "What is it that you want?"

The Intruder said nothing at first. Letting the echo of Agnes' last spoken syllable ring in the darkness. Slowly, at least it seemed to happen slowly, the intruder turned their head in Agnes' direction. The moonlight beamed off of their pale skin. Agnes studied their profile and instantly flared with anger.

"I believe, _Professor_ Blackwood, that I have been continuously asking you that very same question. Unfortunately, you have yet to give me any form of answer. So tell me, Agnes, what are you doing here? More importantly, _what is it that you want?_ "

"Dammit, Snape," Agnes dropped her arms in frustration. "I don't have time for any games!"

Severus spun around within the flash of a second, clearly sharing Agnes' frustration. "This isn't a game you insufferable woman! Now tell me what it is that you are doing here."

Agnes sighed, "To better my life."

"Try again. Why are you here?"

"To better my life by having a job."

"Liar. Why are you here?"

"Fine!" Agnes yelled. "I have no reason to be here other than to better my life! I have no evil plot; no diabolical scheme. I am not planning anything to bring down Hogwarts. I merely wanted a job!"

Agnes had hoped that her answer would satisfy him, but it only infuriated Severus more.

"Liar! You compulsive liar! After everything you've done and everything that you're capable of doing, you expect me to believe that nonsense? Do you _honestly_ expect me to believe a dirty, no good Death Eater?"

"Now, wait just a minute!"

"Oh, there it is! Are you finally going to show your true colors?"

"Shut up!" Agnes gruffly growled. "Just what gives you the right to judge others? What gives you the right to judge _**me**_?

"We both have the same colors, Severus - silver and green. We both walked similar paths of life. We both have done terrible things, though one person's deeds more heinous than the other's. You have no right to judge me. You yourself were once a Death Eater; Voldemort's right hand man at that!"

Severus cringed at His name.

"I bet you still have the Mark as well as I. You believe yourself to be perfect, but all the Ajax in the world couldn't clean your dirty laundry, Severus. Neither could it mine. We are almost one and the same minus the degree of our deeds."

Severus said nothing. All he did was continue to glare at Agnes.

Tears spilled from Agnes' eyes as she endured the silence.

"You are the Death Eater who killed her fellow Death Eaters - your own parents."

"Severus, you don't understand."

"Confess. Then maybe I will go easy on you."

"It was the will of the Dark Lord."

"Well that's no surprise there," Severus scoffed.

"No, stop interrupting me.

"It was the will of the Dark Lord that we raid that Wizarding community. This was about the time the Dark Lord was seeking the Child of Prophecy. Someone had given the Dark Lord false information on the location of the Potter's. This was before their true location was discovered."

Agnes paused to allow any unpleasant memories clear from Severus' mind before she continued. She knew that he was the one who gave that false information.

"What does that have to do with your parents?"

"I was getting to that," Agnes took a moment to light a cigarette. "The task to raid the little community was given to my family - my mother, my father, my cousin, and I. A friend of mine, who had no idea that I came from a family of Death Eaters, lived in that community. I knew almost everyone personally, and I had grown tired of killing innocents for a long, long while.

"It angered me that my parents took so much enjoyment from doing the Dark Lord's work. There were fires in the fields burning the crops. There were fires burning most, if not all, of the houses. I had finally snapped when my parents were having fun torturing a young boy before they were to kill him. It was either him or them. They encouraged me to perform the Killing Curse. They were the ones who died - not the boy.

"I ran after that. Me running was what you had seen when you invaded my mind. You had caught me off guard.

My cousin was able to summon the Dark Lord's Mark into the sky before a wizard defending the community had killed her. I was the only witness. I had told the Dark Lord that my parents were the ones who had betrayed him. He was shocked, but my Occlumency was strong. So, he believed me."

Severus was still silent as though he expected more.

"I only did what I had to do to stay alive, Severus," Agnes sighed.

"There's something else that I saw in your memories." Severus completely ignored her last statement. "It made me recall a past altercation between us. During our years as Hogwarts students, you were spying on me in the dungeons. Why?"

"Well," Agnes blushed. "I wanted to be your friend."

 _And maybe a little bit more_.

"I just didn't know how to approach you. You always looked so troubled."

Tears once again stained Agnes' cheeks as she began to cry. "All I've wanted to do was to impress you and earn your acceptance. That's why I came to Hogwarts! I wanted to show you that I was willing to turn my life around."

"Oh, posh! You don't need my approval. It couldn't be that difficult to trick or brainwash people into believing that you have good intentions."

"I'm not brainwashing anyone," Agnes yelled through the tears. "I wanted you to like me. Love me even, Merlin permitting. You were my first and only crush. As I watched you through our Hogwarts years, I fell in love with you. But no, you had to have your eyes solely for her! The girl that got away who turned into the woman you could never have! Completely blind to those who were right in front of you all along. You forced yourself to live a life of misery and loneliness.

"Do you have any idea how much that hurt me? A whole fucking lot. It hurt me because I love you, Severus Snape; but I forced myself to live a life of misery and loneliness. Because I only have eyes for the boy that got away who turned into the man that I could never have."

Silence. Again with the silence. Severus stood with his mouth slightly ajar. This was a rare occasion where Severus was showing some form of emotion and Agnes couldn't even enjoy it.

"Say something!" Agnes demanded.

Severus regained his composure and his visage, once again, became unreadable.

"Goodnight, Blackwood."

Within a puff of black smoke, Severus vanished to some other part of the castle. Either to his office or chambers; Agnes could only guess.

Agnes flopped onto the bed with a sigh. She felt a heavy weight lifted from her shoulders with her confession of her love for Severus, but, as she petted Beatrice, Agnes wondered if in the end it was all for the best.

Could she deal with any pain that may come with Severus knowing her feelings?

 _ **Hi guys. I finally found some time to write after making a schedule for my son to sleep every night and it's going well.**_

 _ **If you want to get in contact with me, you can do so here. Or you could follow me on instagram or add me on snapchat.**_

 _ **Hearing from you would really inspire me to keep writing so you guys can have chapters published sooner.**_

 _ **Snapchat: DJKyoto**_

 _ **Instagram: DJKyoto96**_


	17. Walls Down

_**Apparently it's been since March that I updated anything and here it is June 23rd. My son is now 10 months old, walking (toddling), and entertaining himself. With some ingenuity, I've made it where he only has access to the living room. Since I have one less worry, I'm able to sit on the couch and write. I can't just go typing away. It's hard for me to focus. There's nothing quite like pen(cil) and paper. Though with only a tablet, it takes a while to type. Thank you Google for Talk-to-Text.**_

 _ **After almost 10 hours of writing, this chapter alone was 27 pages in my notebook. And occurring to the word count, it's 4,714 words. Wow! My average is 1,500 words a chapter.**_

 _ **I have the writing bug! I've outlined all the way to chapter 22! (In my outline this is chapter 16.**_

 _ **I hope you enjoy. I'm proud of this one.**_

 _ **~ dj-kyoto**_

* * *

 **TRIGGER WARNING** **: _There is mention of attempted rape and attempted suicide._**

"And that concludes today's lecture. Class dismissed."

Shuffling of papers, clattering of quills being collected, and screeching of chairs followed Agnes's words. The quicker students had already left. The slower ones straggled behind as they needed more time to gather their things. Agnes had seated herself at her desk. She was looking through the parchments of lesson plans and graded exams for her next class. Footsteps approaching her desk made Agnes look up from her cursive scrawls.

"Professor, I had heard that that Ravenclaw snitch made Flitwick question and insult your teachings. As rumor goes, you handled yourself well but I was wondering if you were alright." Juno smiled at the professor she had grown to admire.

Agnes returned her smile as she put down the parchments to give the student her complete and undivided attention.

"Yes, I'm alright. Professor Flitwick and I had a disagreement is all. It's really no big deal."

"I heard that you had taken care of the situation in an amazing way. You know, showed that Ravenclaw who was boss."

"Juno," Agnes tightened her lips. "I am not proud of what happened. An adult shouldn't resolve a problem, let alone an altercation, with a temper. It causes more trouble down the line."

"Well, you wouldn't have had to resolve anything if it wasn't for that sniveling, tattle-talling Ravenclaw boy."

"Must everything be about Houses? He is your classmate. While I agree that he can be a tad… annoying, we must treat everyone as an equal. The Slytherin House already has a bad reputation. What makes a wizard good or bad is their actions, not their House or family. We should aspire to prove it, for while the majority fears or looks down upon a Slytherin, the Great Merlin himself was a Slytherin. And despite popular beliefs, not every Slytherin is good at Potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Juno was quiet for a moment before saying, "I'm sorry, Professor. I admire you a lot and it made me angry you were the butt of rumors floating about Hogwarts."

"That's alright," Agnes smiled. "Just remember my words."

"I will, Professor." Juno smiled again then turned to take her leave. Agnes directed her attention back down to her parchments.

"Oh," Juno stopped at the doorway. Agnes looked up toward the Slytherin girl. "Do you mind if I come by after classes? As I've already said, I admire you a great deal and I'd like to learn as much as I can about Magical Theory. That is," Juno diverted her eyes to her shoes. "If that's alright, Professor?"

Agnes chuckled to herself from Juno's sudden shyness. "Yes, that'll be fine."

Juno almost jumped for joy. She ran toward the door to leave.

"Oh, and Juno?" The student turned to face her teacher once again. "Do keep mind that favoritism isn't tolerated."

Juno gave Agnes a wordless smile as she finally succeeded in leaving the classroom. Almost.

"Ah! Professor Snape! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there. Please forgive me."

Severus's only response was a grunt as he shoved pass the student to enter the Magical Theory classroom.

Agnes quirked her eyebrow at Severus's presence. "How much did you hear?" Agnes asked.

"What makes you believe I would be one to eavesdrop?"

"Out with it!" Agnes demanded.

"Slytherin reputation and on," Severus admitted with a growl.

"I believed right, then. You _are_ one to eavesdrop. Why are you here? You never seek me out unless you want something. Like yelling at me."

"I only came here to deliver something from Dumbledore. It's an announcement for all of the professors." Severus pushed a parchment onto Agnes's desk. Picking up the parchment to read, Agnes asked, "Isn't that the Head Mistress's job?"

"McGonagall had a class this past block. So, Dumbledore asked me to deliver it to you."

"I see," Agnes said. The silence that followed became awkward for the both of them. Severus appeared to be deep in thought.

"Blackwood…?" Severus finally asked. "What you said last night… was it true?"

Agnes sighed, expecting the worst. "Yes, Severus."

Snape cringed at the use of his first name. "How can I believe that?"

Agnes held out her hand. Snape jumped at the sudden movement. Hesitant but wanting the truth, Snape took her hand. Closing his eyes, he cast the legilimency spell.

Several images flashed across his vision. Severus wasn't exactly sure what he was searching for. The random segments began to organize themselves. No doubt as a result of interference from Agnes.

* * *

 _The boats of new students were drawing near to the great castle of Hogwarts. Agnes was nervous yet excited. She hoped she would be sorted into Slytherin and make her parents proud. Agnes could only imagine their faces of joy and pride._

 _The young student waited in line for her name to be called. With her name starting with a B, Agnes knew that she wouldn't have to wait long._

" _Agnes Blackwood," the voice had called. Agnes stepped onto the stage and sat on the stool. The Sorting Hat was placed over her unruly curls._

" _Hmm… this one has wit. Ravenclaw would benefit greatly. But no, this one doesn't belong in blue."_

 _Agnes wriggled in her seat as the Sorting Hat 'hmm'ed in ponderment._

" _Ah, I see," the Sorting Hat said after what had felt like an eternity. "This one with such wit belongs in…_ _ **Slytherin!**_ "

 _The Slytherin Table clapped and whooped for their new edition. Many were familiar with the Blackwood name, little to Agnes's knowledge at that time._

 _Agnes skipped to her fellow Slytherins. Her eyes caught sight of a handsome Slytherin boy with pale skin and black, medium lengthed hair. He traced his finger along the table's smooth, glass like surface. Agnes took her seat by his side. Her mother taught her to seize an opportunity whenever it presented itself._

" _Hi," Agnes smiled. "I'm Agnes Blackwood."_

 _The pale Slytherin glanced her way but said nothing. He propped his head up with the palm of his hand and went back to rubbing the tabletop with his fingertip._

 _A hand patted Agnes's shoulder from behind. "Oh, don't mind him," a male student with undeniably blond hair said. "Severus there isn't much of a talker. He'd rather have his nose buried in some book. He's just upset Slughorn wouldn't let him grab one from his luggage trunks. I'm Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy." Lucius extended his hand._

" _Oh, a Malfoy! How very nice to meet you." Agnes took his hand and shook it in greeting. "I'm Agnes Blackwood!"_

 _ **A Malfoy! Mother would be thrilled. Maybe I'll try my luck nabbing him! Imagine it: Agnes Malfoy.**_

" _Well, Blackwood, it's very nice to meet you as well." When he smiled, his blue eyes twinkled like the stars on a clear night._

" _To newfound friendship!" Lucius raised his pumpkin juice in a toast._

* * *

 _Severus looked over his shoulder before darting around a corner. Curious, Agnes put the letter from her mother into a pocket of her robes. Peeking around the brick wall, Agnes saw Severus sitting under a tree in the courtyard with a Gryffindor girl with fiery red hair. Their backs were to her, so Agnes couldn't identify the girl. Shrugging, Agnes returned to reading her mother's letter._

* * *

 _Lucius and Agnes entered the Slytherin common room laughing at a joke Lucius had just told. Agnes saw Severus sitting alone in a plush, green chair. He was reading a book as he always was. Agnes would give anything to know what he was thinking. She'd never even heard his voice before._

" _Reading as usual, aye, Severus?" Lucius called._

 _Severus glanced in their direction but went back to his book. His eyes darted back and forth across the page._

 _Lucius scoffed but quickly brushed off being ignored._

* * *

 _Agnes was a second year before she struck up enough courage to talk to Severus again after last year. He was under his usual tree writing a paper for one of his assignments. Potions according to the title of his textbook._

" _Good day, Severus," Agnes greeted._

 _His writing stopped for a moment - just a moment - before continuing._

" _Doing some homework?"_

 _The scrawling continued uninterrupted._

 _Agnes crouched down to his height. "Potions, I see."_

 _He stopped writing but Severus didn't look up. "What do you know about potions?"_

" _Well considering that I'm a second year, not as much as you. But it's my favorite class for the time being."_

 _Without even bothering to look up, Severus continued working on his assignment._

" _I'm aiming to take Magical Theory next term as a third year," Agnes continued._

" _Could you leave now?" Severus asked abruptly._

" _Fine," Agnes snapped harshly. Offended, she took her leave._

* * *

 _Agnes sat under the tree Severus usually occupied as she took notes to prepare for her Magical Theory midterm exam. Just as she had expected, Agnes greatly enjoyed the class._

" _Can you leave? This is my spot."_

" _Funny, I don't see your name on it."_

 _Snape's nostrils flared in unspoken anger. Not wanting to bother with fighting, Severus sat on the opposite side of the tree. Silently they worked on their own projects. Agnes couldn't concentrate in his presence. She had developed a soft spot for Snape. She had witnessed those damned Marauders pestering poor Severus. All because of his friendship with Lily Evans and that he was a bit different._

 _Speaking of the devil, they had appeared. James Potter, leading the pack, sauntered over to where they sat. They had taken things too far this time. Severus flew up into the air by his feet. They pestered him and jested at their own cruelty. Lily Evans had come not far behind them. She pleaded and ordered James to stop. With fancying Lily, he listened. With Severus on the ground once more, Lily had tried to comfort him._

 _He brushed her off. Severus didn't want to be comforted. Severus started to walk away. Lily followed as she clinged to Severus's shoulder. Then he said it. Severus had called Lily a mudblood. The word that changed everything._

 _Mouth covered by her hand, tears begin to stream down Lily's face. She stood frozen in place from shock. Having realized his grave mistake, Severus stuttered over several words of apology. Anger finally taking control, Lily fled. Severus started to follow after her, but thought better of it. Instead, he took off in a different direction as he ignored James's calls. James followed, but Agnes cut him off._

" _Haven't you and your buffoons done enough? Go on somewhere and destroy someone else's life. That's the only thing that you're good at."_

 _James opened his mouth as if to protest. Before he could utter a word the extremely skinny one with brown hair lead him away. With Potter taken care of, Agnes followed after Severus. He had ran into a scarcely used corridor of the dungeons. This is where he often went after a run in with the Marauders. Agnes leaned against the wall near the corridor Severus occupied. She felt tears of her own escape as Severus's sobs filled her ears._

* * *

 _Flashes of the next few weeks following the James incident swept across Severus's vision. Agnes had been there for Severus along with Lucius. Lucius had started pulling away from them during that time as he had become more involved with Narcissa Black. Narcissa, however, wasn't sharing Lucius's feelings._

 _Agnes and Severus had grown close over those few weeks._

* * *

 _Agnes fought to keep her own sobs quiet as she heard Severus around the corner in the dungeon. Both wept tears of sorrow and anger._

 _James and Lily had announced that they were a couple. It had broken poor Severus's heart. Agnes was also broken. Over the previous weeks, the soft spot Agnes had for Severus had turned to love. When he felt joy, Agnes felt joy; when he felt pain, Agnes felt pain. Agnes's heart shattered when Severus's sobs transformed into blood-curdling screams._

 _She couldn't bear it._

* * *

 _Agnes was a fourth-year and Severus a seventh. Severus hadn't been the same since Lily and James became an item, but Agnes loved him all the same._

* * *

 _Agnes and Lucius had returned to the Slytherin common room laughing at yet another of Lucius's jokes._

" _You know, Agnes," Lucius said as they sat on a couch near the fireplace. "I really like you a lot."_

The memory faded out. Severus fought to bring it back into focus.

" _Oh, well, thank you." Agnes blushed with Lucius's bluntness._

" _We've known each other, what, four years? With how much we know one another, I would rather enjoy getting to know you biblically."_

 _Time stood still. Agnes felt her heart drop in fear. "Wh-what?"_

" _You heard me," Lucius leaned in closer. "Biblically." His lips curled into a devilish smile. Warm air scent cold chills down Agnes's spine. "Lucius I don't…"_

 _Lucius pulled the shoulders of Agnes's robes down to reveal her Hogwarts uniform blouse. Roughly, he unraveled the tie at Agnes's neck._

" _Lucius, no! Stop!"_

 _The upperclassman's hand pulled and popped the shirt buttons off. Lucius leaned in even more closer and suckled the skin under Agnes's ear._

" _I said st-" The rest of her sentence was muffled from a hand class over her mouth._

Her words faded to nothingness as the memory disappeared. With great concentration, Severus forced it through his mind. He remembered this day, but he didn't know what had happened before he had intervened.

" _What the bloody hell is going on here?"_

 _Lucius jumped and looked up at the voice. "Oh, Severus, Agnes and I must have gotten carried away."_

" _Strange... I could have sworn I heard the girl say stop. I believe that is called rape. And, if I recall, Blackwood is only fourteen. Underaged. I suggest you go about your business somewhere else, Malfoy, with an of-age and consenting party."_

" _Look here, Snape!"_

" _No, you look here, Malfoy. Slughorn's office isn't very far. Aside from that, I don't think you'd want to make the top of the list of the Blackwood's bad sides. Which is it going to be?"_

* * *

Agnes tried to push Severus away from that memory. She had forgotten that one and wanted to move on. With her slight disorganization, several images flashed. One memory caught Severus's attention. Agnes pushed him away once more, but Severus dove deeper.

 _Agnes laid in a bath with candles lit around the room. She looked to be a fifth year - the term after Severus graduated. But something was wrong. Water wasn't supposed to be a deep crimson._

 _ **Drown my will to fly. Here in the darkness I know myself. I can't break free until I let it go.**_ _Agnes's images of Severus seeped through the memory's cracks._

 _ **Darling I forgive you. After all, anything is better than to be alone. And in the end I guess I had to fall. Always find my place among the ashes. I can't hold on to me. Wonder what's wrong with me?**_

 _The memory fades as Agnes in the bath loses consciousness._

Severus pushed away from Agnes's mind in his disbelief. Had she...? More flashing of images invaded, but he had cancelled the legilimens spell.

Now Agnes focused on Severus. His shock had allowed her to go into his mind and continue what he started. She had to show Severus enough to make him believe her.

* * *

 _Agnes hissed in pain as she shifted into a more comfortable position. The Headmaster had her admitted into St. Mungo's Hospital to see to the gashes on her thighs and for a mental evaluation._

 _The room was a blinding white. The plus side to her hideously white clothes being that her backside was covered. Agnes had heard talk from the muggle-born and half-bloods of the Muggle hospital gowns exposing you completely in the back. She was grateful for that at least._

 _Agnes reached for the pumpkin juice on the hospital tray beside her as the door opened. The paper cup dropped to the pristine floor with a splash. Agnes physically tensed once she recognize the visitor._

" _How are you doing?"_

" _Terrible once your hideous face showed itself," Agnes growled._

" _Come now, is that any way to treat a friend?"_

" _Friends don't advance on their friends, Lucius. Predators do. And seeing as how you're wearing long sleeves in the middle of July, that title suits you rather well."_

" _Whatever do you mean by that?" Lucius smiled. Agnes could see that the light that was in the man's eyes the first day they had met was gone._

" _Don't be thick. The Dark Mark. You have it now, don't you? Practically every Slytherin that graduated last year ran off and became Death Eaters."_

" _My, my, you're more worldly than you let on." Lucius took a seat in the chair across from the foot of the bed. "Well, it shouldn't come as a surprise to you. There are great opportunities to be had here. Once we rid our world of those filthy mudbloods, the order of things will return to as it should be. But of course your parents must have already told you all of this."_

 _Agnes looked down to her hands upon her lap. Her thoughts turned to the man that she had grown to love. "And what of Severus?"_

" _Oh, why Severus has shown the Dark Lord that he possesses great amounts of potential. Why he may even become the Dark Lord's right-hand man."_

 _Agnes said nothing. She had thought Severus to be different. He must not have been to have just followed the crowd._

 _She thought back to the reason of her being her. She had heard talk among the visitors that had come to see her parents. One had mentioned a new Death Eater that matched Severus's description. The thought of him joining the likes of them… Agnes couldn't bear it._

" _Well, I must be going now. It looks as though you need your rest." Lucius stood to make his leave. Agnes said nothing as she heard footsteps accompanied by the opening and closing of the door._

 _ **Severus, why? Why become just another statistic?**_

* * *

 _It was chillingly quiet. Lightning flashed in the sky above. Agnes could see a window shutter on the second floor of the house creak and moan in the heavy winds. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat as she held out her arms and levitated skywards. She knew whatever greeted her would only be bad._

 _Just as she had feared, her heart crumpled in on itself. Severus held her in his arms - Lily; now Lily Potter. Her limp, gray body lie lifeless his embrace. His sobs - his sobs were the worst sound Agnes had ever heard. A tear cascaded down the side of her nostril. Followed by another that was lost to the howling wind._

 _In her despair, the focus to the levitation spell slowly dwindled. Down Agnes floated at a steady pace. She watched the quivering black heap become a windowsill. Then the siding of the house. When her feet made contact with the earth, Agnes fell to her knees and bawled. The whistling winds masked her primal cries from any unwelcome ears. Agnes cried tears not of sympathy, but of a loss of her own. After all this time since that fateful day, Severus still fawned after that Gryffindor. The girl that had shattered him those years ago. The girl that had Severus wrapped around her finger. Agnes cursed her name as she dwelled on the opportunities that could have been had Lily Evans never existed._

The grayscale images melted away to be replaced by brown tear-threatened eyes. Severus didn't know what to focus his gaze on. The thing he had loathed this woman for was due to himself. She had become a Death Eater for him. Hell, she had almost killed herself. All because of him. Having been in the same position himself, Severus could relate to this woman. A wave of shame pulled him under. Shame for all his ill-willed actions and words. Severus wanted to say something, but he couldn't speak. What would he say? Perhaps he had gravely misjudged her.

"I have a class to get to," is what came out of his mouth. Not the best thing in the world, but it was words.

"Right," Agnes mumbled as she nodded.

Severus briskly marched to the door. Unspoken thoughts froze his gait.

"Yes?" Agnes asked.

"Blackwoo- Agnes."

Her heart fluttered as his voice spoke her name. Her first name.

"Do stop by dinner tonight. There's a nasty rumor going about that you have an eating disorder. Some have even heard you were a vampire."

"Oh… Well, we can't have that, can we?"

"No", Severus agreed.

* * *

Lively music filled the air of the classroom. Juno tapped her foot to the rhythm as she searched the bookshelf.

"Professor Blackwood, what is this?"

"The Muggles call this type of music rock. Other Muggles call it alternative. They can never agree on anything." Agnes blew air across the hand that she had been filing her nails. "Most of the songs are about love and relationships.

"Have you ever had much experience with love, Professor?" Juno sat at a desk in the front row with her chin resting against the heels of her palms.

"I wouldn't say so. I haven't nabbed myself a husband, yet, have I?"

"Why Professor! I find that hard to believe. You're the most beautiful woman I know!"

"Why thank you, Juno, but looks aren't everything."

"Do you have your eye on anyone at all?" Juno prodded.

"It is not proper for a lady to divulge and such talk."

"You fancy Professor Snape, don't you?"

Agnes's body tensed and her visage became serious. "What on earth gave you that idea?"

"Only that he drops by quite often. Professor Snape is a very serious and secretive person. Going visiting is out of character but love makes people change, Professor."

"Juno I can assure you that Professor Snape doesn't hold any romantic feelings for me." After all that she's witnessed, Agnes laughed at the idea of Severus holding any feelings for her other than hatred.

"How can you be so sure? What with how much he comes over to your classroom."

 _And my chambers,_ Agnes thought.

"Anytime Professor Snape was here was to deliver a parchment or run some other kind of errand for Dumbledore." Agnes waved her hand to dismiss any opposing ideas.

Juno crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. "He's lying, Professor. Everyone knows that as the Head Mistress it is McGonagall who deals with the organizing of Hogwarts."

"McGonagall also has her own responsibilities. Such as her job as a professor. The woman has classes to teach."

Juno sighed in frustration. Professor Blackwood had a point. Juno skimmed across the room at all the different Magical Theory charts and diagrams. The student's eyes glowed as realization dawned. " "Come to think of it, Professor," she said. "You didn't deny fancying Professor Snape." A coy smile stretched across the Slytherin's lips.

Agnes picked up a parchment and pretended to read the scrawled words. "What of it?" she asked.

"Well, do you?"

Agnes threw down the parchment, the material crackling under her hand. "And what if I do?"

"Well, I wouldn't understand why, but it would be exciting nonetheless. Ooo, a Hogwarts love story between two professors! How are you going to tell him?"

"What?" Juno's question had completely caught Agnes off guard.

"How are you going to tell him?" Juno repeated.

"Ah, well, he might already know," Agnes blushed thinking of the recent events with Severus.

"Really?" Juno scooted to the edge of her seat. "What next, then?"

"He doesn't share my feelings. That's how it's been since we were students ourselves," Agnes admitted.

"How sad. There's only one thing to do, then." Agnes shot Juno questioning gaze. "You have to catch his eye - grab his attention."

"Juno, I don't think I should. If it's been this long with no results, nothing's going to come of it."

"Professor, you've only got to try!"

"I said no," Agnes stated with finality. "I don't wish to proceed. It will be time for dinner soon. We should head to the Great Hall."

Defeated for the time being, Juno dropped the subject. The student gathered her things to make her leave. "Professor?"

"Yes?" There was an edge to Agnes's voice.

"When's your birthday?"

"Uh…," Agnes stammered in surprise. This girl is full of random questions. "September nineteenth. Why?"

"Only curious. Too bad that it's already passed. I would have told you happy birthday if I had known."

"There's always next year." Agnes assured her.

 _If I make the cut next year._

"I'll be sure to remember it," Juno beamed. "See you at dinner, Professor." Juno pick up her quills and left.

Agnes rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and shook her head in exasperation. That girl was full of surprises.

* * *

Agnes took the empty seat at the staff's table beside Severus. Again. The food had only just started to appear on the silver serving platters when she arrived. Dumbledore turned to regard her presence. "Ah, Professor Blackwood. So nice of you to join us," the Headmaster greeted. Agnes gave the Headmaster a weak smile as she nodded a greeting in return. Dumbledore smiled as well, only genuine, as he turned back to his meal.

Agnes followed the headmaster's lead and served herself a sample of chicken. "So where'd you hear this eating disorder nonsense?"

Severus finished chewing his mouthful of food before replying, "I heard the source was one of those you had recently made an enemy."

"Oh really?" Agnes peeked down to steal a glance at Professor Flitwick. He was in a deep conversation with Professor McGonagall. "And what a lovely team they make. With nothing better to do than spread gossip."

"As far as I've witnessed, all McGonagall had to say on the matter was an obviously feigned, 'oh, why, the poor girl!'" Severus paused to wipe his mouth with a napkin. "They look down on us, you know. It's always a matter of house."

Severus and Agnes ate in content silence.

 _Perhaps sharing my memories and opening up wasn't a bad idea at all. We're getting along again._

Agnes's ears perked. She heard Professor McGonagall going over the parchment Severus had delivered earlier.

"My apologies. I should have gone over it with you when I handed it to you during second classes. It's nothing to be concerned about. We're doing Christmas celebrations a bit differently this year. Dumbledore wanted to ensure that we're all on board."

 _Second classes? But that was when Severus had delivered the memo to me…_

Severus and Agnes glanced to one another in choreographic unison. "Minerva," Severus asked. "Don't you have a second period class?"

Professor McGonagall was shocked by Severus's question. "Why no! I am free at that time."

Severus and Agnes fully faced each other. They then turned to Dumbledore for an explanation. Feeling their heated gazes, Dumbledore gave them a sheepish smile but said nothing.

"I don't believe this," Agnes scoffed. "He's playing matchmaker!" The latter was meant more for herself.

Severus had nothing to say in return. He continued eating in silence; only now the silence wasn't so comfortable anymore.

* * *

 _I can't believe him_ , Agnes thought. _Playing Matchmaker and meddling in people's lives. Who gave him the right? What nerve! He may be the Headmaster but there are lines no one should ever dare cross_.

Agnes opened the door to her chambers and hung up her robes. Beatrice greeted her as Agnes flopped to the bed. The witch petted her faithful cat. "He knows, Bea."

Beatrice rubbed her face against her owner's in reply.

Agnes stroked the feline's sleek fur as she thought on the words she had told her cat.

He _**does**_ know. What she wanted him to, and a little of what she had not wanted him to. But it was too late to have any second thoughts or regrets. All she could do was hope for the best.

 _I hope… I hope that it's enough to at least be friends. That was enough for you with Lily, wasn't it? Hopefully we can be friends again... Having each other's backs through good and bad. I hope today made you remember…_

 _Whatever it takes just to have something._

 _I love you Severus Snape..._


	18. Reflections

_**Another chapter within 24 hours! Speech to text is awesome. I'm determined to write what I have outlined seeing that life can easily take over. It's hard to pick up a story after walking away from it for a while. My husband's birthday is Monday, but I will try to keep up.**_

 _ **This chapter was meant to be shorter since it's more of a filler to build up what is to come.**_

 _ **I do rather enjoy comments.**_

 _ **~ djkyoto**_

* * *

The doors opened of their own accord as Agnes approached. She walked past the suits of armor standing at attention and into the headmaster's office. All of the other professors were already present. All of them except for the potions master.

"Agnes, come in!" Dumbledore motioned her toward them. "Do take a seat. We were just about to begin."

Agnes sat on the end of the chairs arranged in a crescent before the headmaster's desk. There was an empty seat between her and Professor Trelawney. Agnes skimmed the faces of the wizards and witches around her to confirm Severus wasn't among them. The potions master indeed was not here.

"I trust all of the students are on track as well as they could be?"

The professors nodded and mumbled their saying this statement to be true

"As far as we are aware," McGonigle reported.

Dumbledore nodded upon hearing this. "Excellent. The midterm exams are fast approaching, but they must work to be prepared for the O.W.L.S. It is our jobs as their professors to teach and mentor them as best we can.

"Now, on to the matter I had called all of you here. I had thought perhaps we could hold the Christmas celebrations a bit differently this year. You all have worked so hard and I felt we could take the opportunity to spend an evening at the Three Broomsticks. We'd need to send out permission slips for the students that are staying over the winter holidays, of course."

The professors chattered in excitement among themselves. That definitely _would_ be different. McGonagall cleared her throat to have everyone's attention.

"Headmaster Dumbledore, what of the students whose permission slips say they are not allowed to attend?"

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and folded his hands over his abdomen. "Then I could hold a celebration at Hogwarts."

"Who would supervise?" McGonagall asked.

"Why, I would," Dumbledore answered. "We would have a lovely time. Unless anyone objects?" Many of the professors shook their heads no. Others preferred to say the word.

"So we are all in agreement?" Dumbledore asked. The majority nodded. Agnes looked to the others. She honestly didn't care one way or another. "Very well," Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "Unless there is any other matter that needs addressing, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your Saturday."

Agnes didn't have to be told twice. She stood and left the headmaster's office. Saturday meant tutoring with Juno. Magical Theory wasn't completely what Agnes helped Juno with. She also assisted the student in Charms. Juno had expressed a great dislike of Professor Flitwick far before the Ravenclaw incident. No doubt that Juno would now find another reason to detest the charms master.

 _If you could call him a charms 'master.'_

As with any Saturday, the halls were empty on the floor that held her classroom. Agnes was able to reach her destination rather quickly. Juno had beaten her today. The Slytherin seated herself on the far corner of the front row. She was busying herself by reading a textbook. Agnes walked to the radio on her desk and pressed the play button. The slow ballad continued where it had left off before the stop button had been used.

Juno jumped in her chair. She placed her hand over her heart in an effort to calm it. "You startled me, Professor."

"I have a tendency to do that to people." Agnes seated herself and reclined back into the chair. Black, four-inch heeled boots appeared on the desk's surface. Her hands rested on her thigh.

"Right," Juno said merely out of courtesy. It was rude to ignore a professor. "What's the fascination of this device? This radio...?" She pointed a finger at the Muggle electronic. "And how does it work?"

"Oh, well this one in particular is battery operated. Most radios plug into an electrical outlet. I play cassette tapes due to not having any radio station reception at Hogwarts. I hear that radios are making their way into the Wizarding World. When working, music makes it more enjoyable. When relaxing, you can focus on the words. There's a lot of power in a song. Depending on the song and the person, songs can be a lot like magic."

Juno exhaled a short laugh. "Music isn't Magic."

"To muggles they are," Agnes countered. "They have meanings. Imagine a man. A Muggle fits this example better. The man has packed up a suitcase and in the middle of the night he leaves. He hops in his car and drives off. His wife and children are asleep and have no idea."

"But he has a family!" Juno cups a hand over her mouth in her horror.

Agnes threw up a hand. "Just listen. He drove forty miles out of town and didn't look back. He turned on the radio and turn the car around to go home to his family. Now imagine this: a woman who has an abusive husband lives in pure misery. Her husband has told her that she isn't strong enough to leave and all sorts of awful things. In her heart the woman knows that love wasn't meant to be this way. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. She had tried many, many times to leave this horrible man. For some reason she couldn't. One night she tried again. She made it forty miles out of town looking over her shoulder to what she was leaving. She turned on the radio and never turned that car around to what she was leaving."

"All from a song?" Juno asked in disbelief.

"That's the power of a song. It's going to find you when it wants to no matter where you are. It grabs you by the heart and moves you when you hear it. Love is the only thing that's as strong."

"I take it you're really into music, huh?"

"My mother had me try my hand with learning an instrument. I guess it grew on me. Now, we should get started."

"Oh, uh, Professor, I thought we could talk about astrology today."

"Astrology?" Agnes asked. "I'm afraid that's out of my comfort zone."

"I know." Juno walked to Agnes's desk and dropped her textbook on its surface. "I've been doing some research and I thought the aligning of the stars could help us."

Agnes stared at her student. She studied Juno's face for any sign that the student could be joking. Juno was as serious as the Killing Curse. The black boots fell to the floor with a heavy thump and Agnes straightened in her chair. She studied Juno's expression further for a few more moments. Shifting positions, Agnes slid her chair closer to her desk. She placed the corner of her jaw in her palm. Agnes's eyes never left Juno's. "Help us with what exactly?"

"With your love life. Astrologers believe certain signs are more compatible with others. I've seen some truth in what they say. Now you as a Virgo are an analytical, hardworking, and practical person. Virgos are typically shy and avoid being the center of attention. With your birthday being September nineteenth, you're in the Virgo-Taurus decanate. People born in the Virgo-Taurus decanate are generally more patient and seek comfort and security. I think this describes you to a tee."

"Yes, yes," Agnes waved her hand. Uninterested, but wanting to get the silly conversation over with, Agnes asked, "What of it?"

"Well, we just need to know what sign Professor Snape is…"

"Capricorn." Agnes answered rather quickly. She hoped Juno didn't read too much into it. The answer slipped off her tongue before she could control it.

It was Juno's turn to stare at her professor. "How do you know that?"

Agnes shook her head in frustration. "We attended Hogwarts together and we were in the same house. Get on with it, will you?" Agnes gestured for Juno to continue.

"Right. Well…" Juno flipped through her textbook to a page titled 'The Capricorn Man.' "Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and this may influence him to be an authoritarian. He often adopts a mature, serious demeanor that goes hand-in-hand with his focus on achieving. What does a potions professor aim to achieve?"

 _Maybe have the love of his life notice his existence? Maybe try to stop her from dying even though she could never have anything to do with him? I don't know. What does a potions professor aim to achieve?_

"Read on, please."

"He is a traditionalist," Juno read. "And reserved with new acquaintances. His attention-to-detail and patience stand him in good stead in the process of reaching his goals. A Capricorn man is known as the overachieving workaholic of the zodiac... Scary accurate."

"What does this say?" Agnes pointed to the heading 'Love and Relationships with the Capricorn Man.'

Juno dragged her finger to the passage her professor mentioned. "The Capricorn man treats love seriously," Juno read. "He has high standards and will admire from afar before making his move."

 _That_ _ **is**_ _scary accurate,_ Agnes thought.

"He is a closet romantic deep down under that thick hide. He will be a source of strength and support to his partner, and the role of protector comes easily to him. He is generally compatible with Taurus, Virgo, Pisces and Scorpio. The Capricorn man may surprise you in the bed-" Juno's voice trailed off and her eyes scanned the page. She shifted uncomfortably as she flipped to the table of contents.

"Let's move on to compatibility. I don't want to think about Professor Snape without his robes…"

Juno memorized the page number and turned to 'Virgo Woman and Capricorn Man Compatibility.'

"This pairing is an easy-going and stable one," Juno read. "Criticism tends to come naturally to both of them. The decent and quiet nature of the Virgo woman makes her a great choice for the Capricorn man. On a good note he also shows more sympathy towards the Virgo woman than he would with other women of different zodiac signs. She constantly analyzes herself and searches for her own flaws. She is very critical of herself. She also loves to help her Capricorn man and support his actions with her sound advice. The Capricorn man is also very critical of himself when he feels he has done wrong. This trait is common in both and they appreciate and provide feedback when needed. Sometimes he may be a bit selfish but usually a Virgo woman, who is deeply in love with this man, forgives him and looks forward to have a secure and stable life with him."

Juno exhaled and leaned back to a standing position. Cracking her neck, Juno closed the astrology textbook. "I think you have a shot," she said with a smile.

"Great," Agnes said as she tried to appear uninterested. "Now let's discuss something more relevant to why we meet on Saturday afternoons."

* * *

Another Saturday ritual for Agnes was to sit on the bank of the Black Lake. At the beginning of the school term Agnes would travel to the lake to socialize with Hagrid. After numerous times of Hagrid being a no-show, the friends had agreed to meet at Hagrid's hut on Sundays.

The Lake's surface was as smooth as glass. The onset of winter and the fallen snow created a quiet calm over the school's grounds. Agnes coughed as the cold burned into her lungs. She had always hated winter, but an uninterrupted smoke break was nice. When Agnes was in her room Beatrice would hound her for complete attention. The cat had singed her fur numerous times. Unfortunately since she had such a thick coat, she was never deterred. Anytime that Agnes could break away to time for herself, she jumped at the opportunity. She pulled her pack of Marlboro Blacks from her robe pockets. Looking up, Agnes froze in her tracks. Someone was in her place.

It was Severus. He sat on the white puffs covering the ground and looked out to the water. He supported his weight with his arms behind him. One leg was extended as the other's foot was flat to the ground and bended at the knee. He was lost his own thoughts.

"Hey," Agnes said just above a whisper. "Can you leave? This is my spot." A smile creeped through her poker face facade.

Severus didn't look at her. "Funny, I don't see your name on it." The corner of his lips quirked only slightly.

Agnes exhaled from her nostrils as the smile she had been fighting broke through. "I'm not used to seeing you here."

"I needed something... different." Severus sat up and crossed his legs at the ankles. "Yesterday had awoken what I'd like to remain... dormant."

"You… saw everything. Didn't you?"

Agnes nodded. She couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze, so she focused on the dancing sparkles of the water. "I saw how much she meant to you. When I realized how I felt about you, she had hurt me just as much as she had hurt you."

"What made you develop an infatuation for me?"

"I'm not sure…" Agnes took a Marlboro out of the pack and lit it. "Maybe it was your dedication to any task you aspire to complete. Maybe it was your hair; you're gorgeous features; your mysterious eyes that no one can read. I'm not completely sure."

Severus breathed in a deep sigh. His eyes never left the spot on the lake he pretended to focus on. There was silence between them, but this silence was different. This silence wasn't awkward like all the others within the past four months.

They sat in a comfortable quiet as two professors just as they had when they were two young slytherins.

* * *

 _ **The conversation of the power of songs was inspired by 'The Power of a Song' by Randy Houser.**_

 _ **The astrology information was provided by and . Some bits were word for word while others were paraphrased.**_


	19. Matchmaker?

**_TRIGGER WARNING: Details and talk of attempted suicide and self harm later in this chapter. To some it wouldn't be a big deal but it's mentioned, so I have to put a trigger warning out of courtesy to others._**

* * *

All of the students crowded the interior entryway of Hogwarts. Their luggage trunks made the corridor more cluttered than it would have been if there were only the students. Agnes leaned by the stairs as she diverted focus to her nails. She was required to be here. The goodbyes and the warm hugs the students gave to one another made the situation that much more awkward for the amatuer professor. Agnes spotted Juno in the crowd of black robes. She was embraced in a hug herself. Juno patted the shoulder of a fellow female Slytherin and whispered her departing words.

With the students soon to depart, Agnes turned to make her leave back into the castle.

"Professor Blackwood!" Juno's voice called out above the chatter and commotion.

Agnes continued on. Talking to Juno would only make things more awkward for her.

"Professor, wait!"

"Oof!"

Agnes stumbled but righted herself before hitting the floor. Arms enveloped Agnes - their owner clutching Agnes from behind. Since the situation couldn't be avoided, Agnes turned to face her student.

Juno's smiling face met hers.

"I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to you, Professor."

Agnes's eyes darted in all different directions as she tried coming up with a proper reply. Words failing her, Agnes settled with a weak smile.

"I'm going to miss you, Professor Blackwood. You are a wonderful teacher and a good friend. I'll miss you and our after class talks."

Giving in, Agnes knelt down to Juno's level to accept the hug. "I hope you have a very merry Christmas, Juno." She stood and patted Juno on her shoulder. "Enjoy yourself. Go on, now. You don't want to miss the train."

"It won't leave without me. It's not like it's the beginning of the term."

Juno hugged Agnes tighter. Tears threatened to form in the young Slytherin's eyes. "I will miss you, Professor. Terribly so."

Juno stepped back to look up at Agnes. "I hope that you have a very merry Christmas, as well. Oh, and if anything happens between you and Professor Snape I want to know every juicy detail!"

"Go on!" Agnes scoffed. She hit Juno on the shoulder. "Stop with that nonsense."

Despite herself, Agnes laughed along with Juno. "Hurry on, then. Everyone is about to leave."

Reluctantly, Juno turned to walk out of the castle with her fellow students. When she reached the entryway threshold, Juno faced her professor to wave a goodbye to Agnes one last time. "Goodbye, Professor Blackwood!"

Agnes returned her wave and her smile. She watched the young Slytherin go on her way with her luggage trunks levitating behind her. Agnes stood there awhile longer. She continued to gaze where Juno once stood. She watched the throng of students grow smaller in the distance as the great doors of Hogwarts slowly closed.

Not wanting to be dragged down by any unnecessary depression, Agnes traveled to her classroom. To busy herself, Agnes began grading the midterm exams the students had taken just before Winter Holiday began.

Time had passed and Agnes was already more than halfway done. "Yes?" Agnes greeted, not looking up from her work as the door creaked open.

"Busying yourself as usual, Miss Blackwood?" Dumbledore stepped into the classroom. He clasped his hands together at his front. He smiled in Agnes's direction, though the witch didn't see it. She was still occupied with her grading.

"What better to do when there is nothing else to do, Headmaster?"

"Yes, of course. It's an admirable trait to have. I had just stopped by to have a little well-check is all. It's been almost half a term with you being a professor and I wanted to ask how you were doing again."

"Just fine, Headmaster."

"Well, if there's nothing else, I'll just be on my way."

"I do have a question, Headmaster." Agnes finally put down her quill to acknowledge Dumbledore's presence.

Dumbledore turned to face her again. He smiled as he awaited her quirey.

"Pardon if this may sound rude, but what business is it of yours to be sticking your nose in the lives of others and play matchmaker?"

"Ah," Dumbledore nodded. "You and Professor Snape have that in common. Always one to ask why - always seeking answers. You have that in common, indeed. Severus asked that very same question of me - though a bit more… demanding rather than asking. He marched right up to my office after supper, you see."

Agnes leaned the side of her face against the palm of her hand as she raised her eyebrows impatiently waiting for an actual answer.

The Headmaster's smile faltered if only for a second. "Right… Forgive any misunderstandings the situation had fabricated, Miss Blackwood. It wasn't my intention to, as you say, 'play matchmaker,' rather than have you and Professor Snape get along as staff members. Severus has been at your throat since you came to Hogwarts and I wanted to alleviate any hostilities. That is all."

"Uh-huh." Agnes stared at Dumbledore wondering if he had anymore to say. Agnes didn't believe him. Dumbledore was smart enough to know that she didn't believe him. Neither of them said anything else on the matter.

"Unless you have any further questions, Professor, I will leave you to your work."

Dumbledore turned to leave once more.

"Oh, and Agnes?"

Agnes glanced in the Headmaster's direction. He had his back to her. Dumbledore shifted to look over his shoulder at her. "Please do join us for the Christmas celebration." The Headmaster smiled before finally taking his leave.

Agnes stared at the doorway a while to make definitely sure that Dumbledore had left. Satisfied that he had, Agnes leaned back in her seat with an exhaled sigh. She rested her elbow on the arm of her chair. Her thumb supported the hollow of her cheek as she rubbed her temple with her other fingers. Her hand slid to form a band across her forehead as she closed her eyes.

Should she get back to work, or should she procrastinate?

A curt wrap at the door interrupted Agnes's internal debate. Another distraction.

"Enter."

Again, Agnes didn't bother looking up.

"Yes, Blackwood; so sorry to disturb you."

Flitwick. It was damned Flitwick. What in the name of Merlin's Beard did he want with her?

Her hand still spread across her forehead, Agnes tilted her hand to look at the Charms Professor and acknowledge his presence. Agnes said nothing.

"I have given it a lot of thought, and it wouldn't do to have a quarrel between fellow professors. So sorry that I haven't come by before now."

"Out with it, Flitwick," Agnes growled. She felt a migraine coming on.

"Right… Professor Blackwood, I am sorry for insulting you and your teachings."

Agnes raised her brow in feigned interest. "I see. Well, I accept your apology Flitwick. I have been over the ordeal for quite some time now. As you can see, however I have a bit of work to do. I would like to finish it before the students returned."

"Right… Yes, of course. I assume that's my cue to take my leave. Be seeing you, Professor."

Professor Flitwick all but ran out of the classroom. Agnes sighed yet again as she shook her head.

 _Guess I'll never be able to escape terrifying people. Well, if it's Flitwick I don't mind being terrifying at all._

* * *

Since it was winter, that obviously meant it was cold. And Agnes hated cold. Regardless of winter's burn caressing her exposed skin, Agnes trudged her familiar trail to the Black Lake. After Dumbledore's visit, she couldn't concentrate on grading the midterms.

She was too focused on trying to think up ways to avoid this Christmas celebration. Frustrated, and knowing Dumbledore would foil all of her attempted escapes, Agnes decided that it was time that she took a break.

She cupped her hand over her face as she lit a Marlboro. What better to do while you contemplate life than to have a smoke?

Agnes coughed as the dual burns of cold and tobacco carbon mixed into her lungs.

Agnes hated winter. Agnes hated snow. Agnes hated that every time she wanted to go find some peace there was someone else around to ruin it. Just like now. She saw someone standing at the bank of the lake looking out toward the calm waters.

Wait. Someone at the Black Lake? Was that… for a second time? Severus?

He must have been trying to set some sort of record.

Nonetheless, there Severus stood. His gaze fixated on the sunlight's watery reflections.

Without asking, Agnes knew what - or rather who - was on his mind. By the pained look on the man's face, Agnes knew Severus was thinking about none other than Lily Evans Potter.

Agnes approached him in silence. She stood by his side - not too close, but a respectable distance. She drew another drag from her cigarette.

"Don't complain if you don't like tobacco smoke. You're the one who decided to loiter about my smoking area."

"It's my fault, you know…" Severus had ignored her attempt at a joke. He had heard her words, but he hadn't cared to actually pay attention to their meaning.

"I'm the one that got her killed."

"And this is my cue to disagree and try to comfort you with lies, isn't it?"

"Regardless of anything you say as a form a comfort I would automatically label it as a pity-filled lie." Severus stared at the glistening waters ahead.

"Exactly the reason why I'm not doing just that. Though, being truthful, it was Pettigrew's fault for the whole thing. Well, not entirely the whole thing. With that logic, I could pin you for the death of my dreadful parents."

"Not helping." Severus's lips tightened at the corners.

"I wasn't trying to help, I was just being truthful."

An almost inaudible sigh was Agnes's only response or acknowledgement. Agnes rubbed the back of her neck not knowing anything else to do.

"What really helps the pain is to move on."

"Is that what you did? Move on? Yet here you are at Hogwarts chasing your little schooldays' crush wherever he winds up?"

Severus's anger didn't affect Agnes. She had grown used to it in the past few months. "And what were you doing? Honestly, anything you accuse me of you have no guilty conscious yourself." Agnes paused as she exhaled an exasperated sigh.

"I had to move on. I had accepted that I had no chance. Though I know I still don't have a chance a shiny glimmer of hope stills makes its home in my heart. There's a big difference between you and I, you know?"

Agnes waited for Severus to question her. He said nothing. His only response was a slight raise of his eyebrows.

"You are fawning over a dead woman. I am fawning someone who is breathing and is very much alive. Who has the issues, here?"

Again, Severus said nothing. Nothing but an exasperated sigh of his own.

"Have you ever been lost in your own thoughts wondering what could have been?"

More silence on Severus's behalf.

"Of course you have. We both know that we relate to one another in that way. What did you imagine, Severus? What was your happily ever after fantasy?"

Nothing was said.

"As much as I enjoy this one-sided conversation, Severus, I have better things to do with my time. Like finding another quiet space that I can call my own without my insufferable cat insisting on burning herself for my attention." Agnes turned to move on to another part of the grounds. Perhaps she'd find solitude somewhere on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"Anything but this."

Agnes came to an immediate halt. "I beg your pardon?"

"My desired happily ever after. It was anything but this. Anything but for Lily to be dead. Anything than me having to live knowing that she's gone forever."

"I understand."

"No you don't! You can't understand! The most horrendous thing you've ever experienced was killing your own, despicable kin! Don't spurt utter nonsense you know nothing about."

"Okay, Severus," Agnes crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't understand."

"You're bloody damn right you don-"

The familiar flashes of the legilimency spell, only the polarities were reversed. Instead of his memories being searched, Severus was bombarded with memories that were not his own.

* * *

 _Agnes had taken advantage of his emotionally unstable state. She knew Severus wouldn't be able to counter the spell with any occlumency in his devastated state._

 _Her parents had gone to a meeting with the Dark Lord. Agnes, knowing the place it was being held followed her parents undetected. She was still a Hogwarts student. That was apparent by her uniform and her robes' insignia. She wanted to know if the dreadful rumors were true._

 _Agnes eavesdropped and peeked into a window at the new recruits._

 _Just as she had feared, there stood Severus. The life in his eyes as Agnes remembered them had gone. Severus was no longer the Severus that she knew._

 _He had died._

 _By his own accord._

* * *

 ** _Wonder what's wrong with me? I can't hold on to me._**

 ** _I can't break free I've gotta let it go._**

 _They watched as the silver blade cut into the skin. They watched as the silver blade cut deeper into the vein. They cringed and held their head back as they yelled in agony._

 _They didn't stop. It had to be completed. It had to be done._

 _The burning continued. The burning increased. Their muscles spasmed involuntarily._

 _Looking down, they watched as the mostly clear water became polluted with crimson clouds. They watched as the clouds floated to the surface. They watched as the clouds invaded the remaining purity of the liquid they were submerged in. They sank into the tub as they leaned their head back against the lip of the bathing tub. They felt their body becoming weaker by each slow passing minute. They felt their vision leaving them. They let their last thoughts fill their mind._

 ** _I had faith in you. You became another statistic._**

 ** _But darling, I forgive you. After all, it's better than to be alone._**

 ** _In the darkness I know myself._**

 ** _And I know that I had to fall, but this time hopefully I won't rise above the ashes._**

 ** _I gotta let you go._**

 ** _Goodbye Severus._**

 ** _I never got to say that I love you._**

 _Their consciousness faded and everything became nothingness._

* * *

Severus gasped as his consciousness came back into the real world. He had felt everything. He experienced everything. The pain, the warm water touching his skin, the smell of blood; the loss of life in his body.

"No, Severus I'm afraid that I don't understand. I almost succeeded in suicide because I was an ignorant, hormonal, adolescent girl who just wanted to do it for fun."

"It wasn't the same! I was responsible for this woman's death."

"One does not have to feel another's pain first hand to understand their pain."

Severus became silent again in his anger. His anger shifted once again into depression. Agnes watched as he slowly ceased to express any emotion.

Severus reverted back to the memory he tried so hard to repress. He was holding Lily in his arms. Her cold, dead body was in his arms.

Severus was lost to the real world once more within his thoughts.

Not knowing anything better to do and ignorant to the ways of giving comfort, Agnes pulled him into an embrace. She rubbed his shoulders trying to comfort him. Agnes didn't know if she was doing the right thing or not. All she had to go on was watching the Gryffindors console one another. It was rather awkward. She had never comforted someone before. She had never needed to. Most of the people she had seen in misery, she killed to end their suffering.

She couldn't kill this man - even if he had asked her to.

Severus returned her embrace, only tighter. His cheek rested atop of Agnes's head as he held in the very same tears that he had shed that fateful night. Severus stroked Agnes's hair that cascaded down her back before gently clasping his hand at the nape of her neck.

"Lily. My Lily…"

Agnes's eyes popped open in alarm. Agnes's eyes glanced in Severus's direction as best as they could in her current position. Concerned, she raised a hand to stroke the side of his face. "Severus?"

Severus expelled a deep sigh from her touch. The more this carried on, Agnes grew even more concerned. "Severus."

Agnes shook the Potions master firmly.

"Severus!"

Severus gasped from the bolt. He opened his eyes and found, to his embarrassment, not Lily in his arms but Agnes. Taken aback by his involuntary actions, Severus jumped out of Agnes's reach. Had he been tricked?

"Just what were you planning?"

"What?"Agnes asked in her confusion.

"Don't be coy! I know what you were planning and it absolutely will not work!"

"I-I am so confused. What? I wasn't… what?"

Agnes's words fell on deaf ears. Severus had already stormed off in the direction of Hogwarts Castle by the time Agnes had finished verbally expressing her confusion. Agnes could only watch as the black figure disappeared into the distance.

"A deer is skittish by nature for survival."

Agnes jumped at the unexpected voice. Scanning her surroundings, Agnes spotted Dumbledore by a nearby tree.

"A hand of corn draws them close enough to be petted but with one quick and small movement they run. In their mind, there always lurks the possibility of predators and danger."

"I beg your pardon, Headmaster, but I am really not in the mood for riddles. I am confused enough already. If you'll excuse me…" Agnes left to find a suitable spot by the Forbidden Forest like she had set out to do earlier.

Dumbledore watched in silence as the Magical Theory professor took her leave.

* * *

"What the bloody hell is wrong with me?" A voice cried out in the dank darkness of the dungeons. "Am I hallucinating now? Great Merlin!"

Severus thrust himself into his chair at his desk. Even in his personal chambers, he can't find any form of peace.

"Why am I so drawn to this bloody woman? Why does she always appear whenever she's not wanted?"

Agnes's look of pure and utter confusion invaded his mind's eye. She was speechless.

Severus's thoughts took him to the other times where he had made the woman cry. Her tears… for some reason her tears affected him. They were so … familiar. Much like his own - now and then. They pained him so…

A plate broke as it hit the floor. Severus couldn't explain why any of this was happening, and Severus didn't like not having answers.

* * *

 ** _I typed (yes typed; I didn't write it in my notebook first) this chapter while a lot of stuff was going on. I think it's good up until after Juno's departure. After that Atticus, my son, woke up from his nap and proceeded to be your typical toddler and get into everything and cry when he can't reach something. I hope you all enjoy it regardless of the perhaps terrible quality._**

 ** _Hopefully after Dumbledore's visit, the quality had gotten better. I wrote the parts after Dumbledore and Flitwick when Atticus went to sleep for the night._**

 ** _I hope that you all enjoyed reading this chapter. I have found it may be easier to update whenever I find time to now because my mother-in-law showed me how to use this bluetooth keyboard that I didn't know we had lying around the house._**

 ** _Please comment! I read all of them and reply to almost all of them!_**


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